We were upstairs for… maybe an hour, probably less. A group formed and followed John and Jane around as he searched for a free play area until he found an open room. The group paraded in… John, Jane, Dee, myself, six other couples. The other couples arranged themselves in a semi-circle along the wall: boy, girl, boy, girl. Dee and I stood near the entrance. I felt… resigned?
In reality, I don’t think I felt anything. I wasn’t uncomfortable at all, but I didn’t have any sense of anticipation. No trepidation, no anxiety, no thrill, no rush of horniness. Nothing.
“Ok…” John said, opening the bag he had with him and taking out toys, setting them down like a surgeon preparing for a minor procedure. He spread out a towel on the mattress to protect the sheets. “Who wants to go first?”
“Dee’s going first,” Jane reminded him.
“Ok, then… Dee?” he said, patting the towel. “C’mon. Just lay down.”
His tone was entirely businesslike, like a professional who just had a job to do. It lacked any semblance of foreplay. It lacked seduction. It lacked even the most basic hints of eroticism. For me, this was as sexual an experience as accompanying Dee to the OB/GYN (“Ok… lay back… if something hurts or feels uncomfortable, let me know… you ready?”).
Dee lay down on the towel and John gave her a blindfold, which she put on. I sat nearby and felt… as though I’d been mis-cast for the part I was supposed to play. I was supposed to be the husband, and this was supposed to be about our relationship, about connecting as a couple, and here I was… sitting off to the side, twiddling my thumbs.
John began “the demonstration” – talking about techniques and options in a detached, uninvolved way as Dee began to get turned on by the stimulation he provided.
Again… I felt nothing. The best way I can describe it is to say I felt as though I’d entered the room looking forward to an intimate sexual experience with Dee and finding myself in a room full of only strangers… and when I look around, I don't seeing Dee anywhere (this is how I felt, of course, as Dee was right next to me). I felt like I’d wandered into the wrong lecture hall, and, realizing this isn’t where I wanted to be, couldn’t make a graceful, quiet exit.
The couples around me conversed – some talking about Dee’s reactions in a clinical sense (“Based on the arch in her back, I guess she likes that,” “Yeah, John, you may not even need the attachments.”), while others seemed to be as uninterested as I was (“I think they're going to have roast beef sandwiches downstairs later?” “Really? They usually only have ham.”). One couple played lightly together, but even as he licked her, she chatted with a friend in a way that clearly showed he wasn’t too distracting to her. A single woman leaned forward, sucked Dee’s nipple for a second, then retreated.
I was not turned on at all.
Dee picked up on my disinterest (it is amazing that, blindfolded, holding only my hand, in a room full of strangers, while distracted by “the best vibrator on the market,” wielded by a self-professed “expert” in it’s use, Dee perceived my disinterest… it’s a little bit special to be that connected to someone), said the safe word, and called an end to it all.
We left the room, and talked for a while. John found another subject for demonstration, and as we sat in the cubby nearby, a constant series of screams emanated from the room, mixed with the babble and laughter of disjointed conversations among the audience members, making it impossible to talk. It didn’t sound sexual to me – I like the sounds of sex, and they normally SERIOUSLY turn me on, but to me this sounded like ten guys jawing it up at a lively poker game while bad 70’s porn played on the VCR with the volume cranked up.
We decided it would be best if we just went home.
I feel bad for Dee in the sense that I believe if she’d been there alone, she would have enjoyed a fantastic orgasmic experience, and so I ruined that for her. I feel my complete lack of interest held her back, and prevented her from experiencing something she was really wished for.
Still, we talked in the car on the way home, my mood had returned in full, and I took her upstairs and did what I could to make up for it.
[Next: What I Learned!]
Monday, November 10, 2008
Downstairs II
I forgot to post a few other things, which I wished to mention:
First, I must stress that, overall, I had a GREAT time. I have to stress this because thus far you might think otherwise (especially in reading the last part of my previous post). However, there is a point to all this – if I can get to it – in that I did discover SEVERAL things about myself, and those things are rooted in these less enjoyable moments… so bear with me here!
Second, I forgot to mention the fun: Prior to dinner, a number of fun things happened that are worth sharing:
First, it was “Scorpio” month – meaning anyone who is a Scorpio (this includes both Dee and I) get put into a drawing for door prizes – and both Dee and I won items! I won a free weekend party for Dee and I (you normally have to pay for dinner, etc.), and Dee won a gift pack with a number of new toys for us to play with!
Second, as per the club ritual, anyone with a recent birthday is brought out on the dance floor, and any member who wishes to do so can come up and wish you happy birthday in any way they see fit. A line formed before me, and I was kissed, fondled, groped, and otherwise awash in good greetings! Dee, I guess, got a number of kisses (she’ll have to give the details, as I was… occupied!).
First, I must stress that, overall, I had a GREAT time. I have to stress this because thus far you might think otherwise (especially in reading the last part of my previous post). However, there is a point to all this – if I can get to it – in that I did discover SEVERAL things about myself, and those things are rooted in these less enjoyable moments… so bear with me here!
Second, I forgot to mention the fun: Prior to dinner, a number of fun things happened that are worth sharing:
First, it was “Scorpio” month – meaning anyone who is a Scorpio (this includes both Dee and I) get put into a drawing for door prizes – and both Dee and I won items! I won a free weekend party for Dee and I (you normally have to pay for dinner, etc.), and Dee won a gift pack with a number of new toys for us to play with!
Second, as per the club ritual, anyone with a recent birthday is brought out on the dance floor, and any member who wishes to do so can come up and wish you happy birthday in any way they see fit. A line formed before me, and I was kissed, fondled, groped, and otherwise awash in good greetings! Dee, I guess, got a number of kisses (she’ll have to give the details, as I was… occupied!).
Downstairs
My posts on this weekend are going to come in several parts, written here at work as my time allows. I’m hoping to share and say everything I want to before the day is out, but we’ll just have to wait and see how that works out. I have a lot on my to-do list here, and it wouldn’t do me much good to go and get myself fired. :)
Saturday night Dee and I checked out our first sex club (or swingers club, or whatever you’d choose to call it). The club we went to has two parts – the downstairs, where it’s about the socializing, and the upstairs, which is about the sex. Downstairs, they have live bands, dancing, dinner, drinks, and conversation. Upstairs, they have play areas. We were hosted by our friends “John” and “Jane” -- they might play a role in future posts, and I may have to come up with better , but for today we’ll just stick with John and Jane Doe.
I’m going to keep my posts and observations to what I personally think (or thought) and feel (or felt). If Dee wishes to post her own thoughts, or offer a different point of view, I’m sure she’ll post her own entry – and I hope she does, just so I can read it!
We spent the first five hours or so downstairs, meeting people, having dinner (and drinks!), talking with John and Jane, and having a wonderful time. Dee even managed to get me tipsy enough to join her on the dance floor – a very rare thing, as I don’t dance at all. Everybody was very easygoing, supportive, and friendly. I felt very comfortable there, and I sensed Dee felt the same way.
I was a bit surprised in the lack of any sexual vibe I felt there, however. I had expected there would be an overriding electricity, a sense of anticipatory foreplay, a feeling of flirtation in every conversation, but there wasn’t. For want of a better description, the sexuality felt academic, almost as though everyone there was approaching the social (downstairs) portion of the evening with the same resigned “Please, God, just get me through this “ that I feel in anticipating another routine workday. I felt like one of the fun parts for me – the flirtation that leads to caresses that turn into massages and become the slow segue into sex – were nothing but monotonous onerous impediments… pro forma requirements that were nothing but red tape and paperwork. Still, up until the last half hour or so, I had nothing short of a wonderful time – far better than I’d actually anticipated.
That last half hour, my enjoyment faded a little, and the underlying arousal I’d held all evening dissipated and disappeared. We went outside with John and Jane and a few others to have one more smoke before heading upstairs to check out the goings on there. There are a number of ways I would describe the conversation that went on there – and all of them are bad.
It should be noted here that John is a supplier of sorts, of the new Hitachi vibrator, and he professes to be an expert in it’s use, and appears to be… a little too proud of it for my taste. Thus, when the conversation turned to the vibrator of choice, the conversation descended into unarousing form. It became part sales pitch (“They’re available at the desk here, far cheaper than you can buy anywhere else!”), part audio instruction book (“If you do this first, and this second, Dee will become much more sensitive to step three, which is…”). It was part pseudo-bullshit infomercial (“Yes, Dee, too, can get off in less than 30 seconds! You’ll never need to waste time with foreplay again!”), and part pressure sell (“In fact, most people have TWO!”). It was even slightly insulting – at one point it was suggested to me that repeated use of this in the proper way would cause Dee to be much more sensitive all the time, and that without that, I couldn’t possibly satisfy her the way a woman should be satisfied… but “With it… Jane thinks I’m a total stud! How can any man NOT want that?”
All this was followed by an offer – come upstairs and see a physical demonstration!
And so it was, I lost most of my good cheer. Still, when Dee volunteered to be the recipient of that demonstration (to my great surprise), I pressed on, hoping my earlier feelings and mood would return.
Saturday night Dee and I checked out our first sex club (or swingers club, or whatever you’d choose to call it). The club we went to has two parts – the downstairs, where it’s about the socializing, and the upstairs, which is about the sex. Downstairs, they have live bands, dancing, dinner, drinks, and conversation. Upstairs, they have play areas. We were hosted by our friends “John” and “Jane” -- they might play a role in future posts, and I may have to come up with better , but for today we’ll just stick with John and Jane Doe.
I’m going to keep my posts and observations to what I personally think (or thought) and feel (or felt). If Dee wishes to post her own thoughts, or offer a different point of view, I’m sure she’ll post her own entry – and I hope she does, just so I can read it!
We spent the first five hours or so downstairs, meeting people, having dinner (and drinks!), talking with John and Jane, and having a wonderful time. Dee even managed to get me tipsy enough to join her on the dance floor – a very rare thing, as I don’t dance at all. Everybody was very easygoing, supportive, and friendly. I felt very comfortable there, and I sensed Dee felt the same way.
I was a bit surprised in the lack of any sexual vibe I felt there, however. I had expected there would be an overriding electricity, a sense of anticipatory foreplay, a feeling of flirtation in every conversation, but there wasn’t. For want of a better description, the sexuality felt academic, almost as though everyone there was approaching the social (downstairs) portion of the evening with the same resigned “Please, God, just get me through this “ that I feel in anticipating another routine workday. I felt like one of the fun parts for me – the flirtation that leads to caresses that turn into massages and become the slow segue into sex – were nothing but monotonous onerous impediments… pro forma requirements that were nothing but red tape and paperwork. Still, up until the last half hour or so, I had nothing short of a wonderful time – far better than I’d actually anticipated.
That last half hour, my enjoyment faded a little, and the underlying arousal I’d held all evening dissipated and disappeared. We went outside with John and Jane and a few others to have one more smoke before heading upstairs to check out the goings on there. There are a number of ways I would describe the conversation that went on there – and all of them are bad.
It should be noted here that John is a supplier of sorts, of the new Hitachi vibrator, and he professes to be an expert in it’s use, and appears to be… a little too proud of it for my taste. Thus, when the conversation turned to the vibrator of choice, the conversation descended into unarousing form. It became part sales pitch (“They’re available at the desk here, far cheaper than you can buy anywhere else!”), part audio instruction book (“If you do this first, and this second, Dee will become much more sensitive to step three, which is…”). It was part pseudo-bullshit infomercial (“Yes, Dee, too, can get off in less than 30 seconds! You’ll never need to waste time with foreplay again!”), and part pressure sell (“In fact, most people have TWO!”). It was even slightly insulting – at one point it was suggested to me that repeated use of this in the proper way would cause Dee to be much more sensitive all the time, and that without that, I couldn’t possibly satisfy her the way a woman should be satisfied… but “With it… Jane thinks I’m a total stud! How can any man NOT want that?”
All this was followed by an offer – come upstairs and see a physical demonstration!
And so it was, I lost most of my good cheer. Still, when Dee volunteered to be the recipient of that demonstration (to my great surprise), I pressed on, hoping my earlier feelings and mood would return.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
My Birthday
Yesterday was my birthday, and the present I requested is below… I asked Dee to post these two particular pictures online. The pictures are explicit, and everything about them reflects bold steps forward for us… both taking them (we’ve never experimented with a camera until very recently), and sharing them here (which we’ve never done… EVER).
We both found it was a lot of fun to take them, too!
Saturday evening we’ll be taking another bold step, as Dee is taking me to a swingers club as guests of a friend. To quote her own email to me: “I am kind of hoping that Saturday will be the ultimate birthday present. So stay tuned.”
I will stay tuned, but must admit I have some trepidation, which I’ve shared with her. Our history regarding activities involving the two of us together where dancing, drinking, groups of people (especially those we don't know) and/or late nights have been a factor has not been particularly good. However, this history was created long ago, and I know things have changed dramatically since then.
Again, to quote Dee herself: “We'll just see what happens. Worse case is that we go, eat a decent dinner, have a couple of drinks and have a fun time together. I'm hoping it is at least as much fun as we had going to the strip club in Vegas.”
For myself, I’m thinking something along those same lines. We’ll go, check the place out, go through the orientation, and meet some people, but take things slow. I don’t anticipate participating in anything on our first visit, but I’m thinking fun thoughts all the same: we go, we have a good time, and then come home to an empty house (the kid is spending the night with friends), leaving us free to make all the noise we want… in particular I’m thinking of the loud smacking sound of a good hard spanking. Maybe we’ll break out the infrequently used toys (like the handcuffs). Maybe I’ll just strip her naked as soon as we come through the door, and fuck her like crazy, jumping from place to place and position to position without ever going upstairs. Or maybe we’ll just stay up all night and do all of the above, and wrap up the event with a shower together as the sun rises.
But like Dee, I’m trying to approach the evening with an open mind, and see where it leads.
We both found it was a lot of fun to take them, too!
Saturday evening we’ll be taking another bold step, as Dee is taking me to a swingers club as guests of a friend. To quote her own email to me: “I am kind of hoping that Saturday will be the ultimate birthday present. So stay tuned.”
I will stay tuned, but must admit I have some trepidation, which I’ve shared with her. Our history regarding activities involving the two of us together where dancing, drinking, groups of people (especially those we don't know) and/or late nights have been a factor has not been particularly good. However, this history was created long ago, and I know things have changed dramatically since then.
Again, to quote Dee herself: “We'll just see what happens. Worse case is that we go, eat a decent dinner, have a couple of drinks and have a fun time together. I'm hoping it is at least as much fun as we had going to the strip club in Vegas.”
For myself, I’m thinking something along those same lines. We’ll go, check the place out, go through the orientation, and meet some people, but take things slow. I don’t anticipate participating in anything on our first visit, but I’m thinking fun thoughts all the same: we go, we have a good time, and then come home to an empty house (the kid is spending the night with friends), leaving us free to make all the noise we want… in particular I’m thinking of the loud smacking sound of a good hard spanking. Maybe we’ll break out the infrequently used toys (like the handcuffs). Maybe I’ll just strip her naked as soon as we come through the door, and fuck her like crazy, jumping from place to place and position to position without ever going upstairs. Or maybe we’ll just stay up all night and do all of the above, and wrap up the event with a shower together as the sun rises.
But like Dee, I’m trying to approach the evening with an open mind, and see where it leads.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Quick Post
Yes, Dee really does follow that whole list of blogs.
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This is why I said I think she's a little bit addicted. :)
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This is why I said I think she's a little bit addicted. :)
Monday, November 3, 2008
A Thought About this Weekend
Only a few posts ago, I determined that I preferred vaginal sex over the other available options, and that is, indeed, the case – at least in the conjectural sense (I knew even as I wrote that this discourse was based entirely on the theoretical). Of course, this past weekend, as is frequently the case, the academic became applied theory (on more than one occasion), and in life, the application of the theory isn’t quite so simple.
There’s a big difference between an abstract consideration of personal preferences (“I say, after considering all the pros and cons of the matter, I must find I prefer vaginal intercourse over oral stimulation”), and making an on-the spot decision in the midst of a moment.
For me, the decision is difficult enough in the hypothetical: In the heat of the moment, how, exactly, would I want it to end? (More often than not, Dee actually poses the question to me… putting me on the spot!). This same question becomes both more urgent, and more confounding, when I find myself watching as Dee settles between my legs, naked and smiling, and takes me into her mouth (to give a specific moment this weekend when the question struck me as relevant).
As always seems to happen, I wind up torn in twelve different directions at once (or twenty… or fifty!): I feel the urge to get up off the bed, pull Dee into position, stand between her spread legs, and fuck her hard. I want to roll her over, shove her down on her back, and jerk off all over her. I consider opening the bedside drawers and taking out the toys, or the handcuffs, and putting them to use. I think about grabbing her by the hair and taking control, and filling her mouth with my come. I imagine what a turn on it would be to bend her over and slowly ease into her backdoor. I want to pull her down on top of me and run my tongue through her pussy.
I want to do all these things at once, and a thousand others, too, but I’m just not that talented.
Admittedly, this is a very nice problem to have, but it’s a conundrum that continues to challenge me.
There’s a big difference between an abstract consideration of personal preferences (“I say, after considering all the pros and cons of the matter, I must find I prefer vaginal intercourse over oral stimulation”), and making an on-the spot decision in the midst of a moment.
For me, the decision is difficult enough in the hypothetical: In the heat of the moment, how, exactly, would I want it to end? (More often than not, Dee actually poses the question to me… putting me on the spot!). This same question becomes both more urgent, and more confounding, when I find myself watching as Dee settles between my legs, naked and smiling, and takes me into her mouth (to give a specific moment this weekend when the question struck me as relevant).
As always seems to happen, I wind up torn in twelve different directions at once (or twenty… or fifty!): I feel the urge to get up off the bed, pull Dee into position, stand between her spread legs, and fuck her hard. I want to roll her over, shove her down on her back, and jerk off all over her. I consider opening the bedside drawers and taking out the toys, or the handcuffs, and putting them to use. I think about grabbing her by the hair and taking control, and filling her mouth with my come. I imagine what a turn on it would be to bend her over and slowly ease into her backdoor. I want to pull her down on top of me and run my tongue through her pussy.
I want to do all these things at once, and a thousand others, too, but I’m just not that talented.
Admittedly, this is a very nice problem to have, but it’s a conundrum that continues to challenge me.
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