Cockwhore? Cumslut?

Oy vey! It HAS been a while, hasn't it. Almost a month. We have had loving sex, fun-on-the-couch sex, even start-with-a-toy sex recently. So why haven't I been writing about it? Good question, DH would say.

First things first...posting here really does put it out there. Not just to the world anonymously, but to my DH, by far more revealing. Holy moly, the upset that I caused on the writing of our adventure at the swinger's club! Even though we talked about it after, it would appear that we both came away with different opinions of not only what happened, but the level of enjoyment. I won't rehash the arguments, but will say that the mere fact that we went, and were together was sexual tension and excitement for me. I learned a lot about myself, my feelings about sex, and what turns me on. But the week of upset that came after the writing I could have done without. Therefore, whenever I think to myself, that's something I should blog about, it is followed very quickly by "maybe I should rethink that." That's not to say communication itself is not good, of course our relationship is better by being able to talk honestly. But quite honestly, DH and I are very different people. And sometimes I just don't want to be reminded of how vast those differences are. (See...right now I'm thinking I should delete that line, or that whole paragraph. Is that really how censored I want our blog to be?!)

Plus...blogging is hard! It's like being in my high school Creative Writing class all over again! Whoever said that a blog is like an online diary is crazy. It's more like an online essay contest! And most days I don't want to have to think that hard!

Ok...on to the good stuff. I was thinking recently how very much I love sucking DH's cock. Though when I tell him "I love to suck your" I use the word dick. That's funny, isn't it? I've always said dick isn't my favorite word for that appendage, but I guess I was wrong. Anyway, I've always liked giving head. A teenaged boyfriend schooled me on how he liked it, and ever since I have always enjoyed this particular act. But not the physical part necessarily. More the giving part. I liked giving head. Giving a blow job. Giving...that was the enjoyable part. To me, it was always like giving a gift. The gift of my tongue, of my submission, of my acquiescing to have "that" in my mouth purely for his pleasure.

As with most things, my outlook on giving head has changed since I was a teenager. Now I like to suck dick. Not just the giving, but the physical sucking, licking, tonguing, caressing, smelling, tasting. But not, I don't think, just any dick. But sincerely, my DH's dick. I love settling between his legs, grinning up at him as I anticipate what's in store. Deciding on the first touch...will it be a tiny lick of the tip, or will it be a broad sweeping ice cream cone lick from the base to the tip? Closing my eyes and rubbing his cock over my lips, my cheeks, savoring the velvety softness of the skin, juxtaposed with the hardness that my fist is wrapped around. I daresay my technique had gotten dated. I always did the same thing...pull it all into my mouth as far as I can. Suck as I pull it out to the tip. Kiss the tip. Then suck it in half way as my mouth met my hand. In and out while my hand matched the rhythm. And continue until he comes.

I like to think my online research has given me a little more to work with. Different tongue variations, different hand movements. Plus, DH sent me an article that spelled out where the good spots are and pointed to some techniques he particuarly enjoys. I really love the ice cream licks from base to tip and then ending with a swirl of the tongue around the head. I love rubbing my tongue along the underside while rubbing the head against the roof of my mouth. I have been trying to take him in farther and farther. He actually noticed! I love rubbing his balls, so velvety soft and vulnerable. I like to vary the timing, knowing that I can make it last longer if I slow down every once in a while. But in the end, it's always the same. A tight hold at the base as I bob my head up and down faster and faster until he unloads his delicious seed in my mouth. Sometimes, if I have done it right, it shoots against the back of my throat, and DH lets his eyes roll back and my typically silent DH will let out a long low moan. That moan is what I strive for! That moan that tells me I've done a good job and that he is going beyond his silent boundary. Though I'm always a little sad that it's over. Until next time.