Looking forward

The evolution of our communication began with a simple game of back-and-forth emailed questions starting with basic and simple choices (Lights on… or off?) and expanding outward into more and more in depth, detailed, and challenging queries. From there, it segued into the “Dare Game,” and among the various dares I gave Dee were those that led to the establishment of the formal rules that govern our relationship, and this blog.

When it comes to our rules, both Dee and I (especially myself) have been a bit lax lately – not about adhering to them (which isn’t actually that difficult), but about living at the outer limits of what they allow, or actively pursuing the obligations set forth in them. For example, the rules state that we must have sex somewhere in our house other than our bedroom on a regular basis. The original purpose of this was to spur us on to creatively pursue novel locations – a sexual conquest of sorts. For these past few weeks in particular, however, we have barely acknowledged that this rule exists. This doesn’t mean our sexual encounters have been restricted to our bedroom – I enjoyed teasing Dee as we cuddled on the sofa watching the football games just this past weekend… interactions that eventually ended with Dee bending over the arm of the couch – but these out-of-bed encounters aren’t in response to the rules, and on more than one occasion, when feeling amorous at the end of the evening, I’ve taken Dee’s hand and ushered her upstairs, when these rules were meant to urge me to lead her into different, more creative environs.

As we move into (and through) the holidays, I’m already looking forward to renewing my commitment to better utilizing these rules, including the reinstatement of the Dare Game (the rules say I’m in charge of that), as the new year begins – a kind of pseudo New Year’s resolution.

Why wait until the new year, rather than getting started right away?

First, I’m a big believer in watershed starting points – and I think most people are just like me. People don’t start diets, or exercise plans, or quitting smoking, or whatever, on Thursday March 9th, unless it’s their birthday. We all tend to start things on Mondays, or the first day of a month, or the first day of the year. I’m one of those people. I can’t help it.

Secondly… we’re just busy right now. There’s a lot going on. And adding dares and rules and sexual conquests into the equation would… well, it’d be fun, but it would also be somewhat calendar crowding. So I’d rather wait until after the holidays, and between now and then just let things be as they are, with nature regularly taking it’s course.

Mostly, however, it’s because I’ve been devoting the bulk of my focus towards the creation of Dee’s Christmas present… which is an extension of the birthday present I gave her last month (translation: she knows it’s coming, and I’m not ruining any surprises here…), and I’d like to keep my focus on that for the time being.

Over the course of this communication evolution, I spent time online gathering ideas from every source I could find – ideas for dares, for questions, and for possible future games. These questions run the gamut from those simple, basic choices, to very challenging essay questions, to multiple choice responses, to things that begin “Rank the following in order, from your favorite, to least favorite…” and “On a scale from one to ten…”

Her birthday present (such as it was) was in direct response to both here interests: I spent the last several months organizing, compiling, and making neat all those questions I’d collected over the previous year, and with them I constructed two book-sized documents. The first is filled with the innocent questions (What is your favorite color? Describe your favorite vacation you took as a child, etc.), aptly titled “All About Mom.” When answered (by her), Dee will be able to share this collection of literally HUNDREDS of questions with our daughter in a way that will share her mother’s life history with her. The second document, a compilation of all the adult-oriented questions I found, Dee is free to use in any way she wishes (respond to them, use them in this blog, generate ideas through them, whatever!).

For Dee's Christmas gift, I have promised to give her my full and complete answers to both of these – both my own “All About Dad” volume (for both mom and daughter), and all my answers to the adult questions (for mom), as well. It’s taking me a lot of time to get this completed(there are something like fifteen hundred questions between the two – call it a long, and very entertaining, sexual SAT test... or one GIGANTIC TMI Tuesday), but I’m nearly done. Interestingly, I’ve learned a few things about myself as I’ve answered these, and I’ve discovered a lot of things that I’ve never shared with Dee, which I know she’ll find interesting and informative. I’m looking forward to giving it to her, and she is already looking forward to reading it!

And so it is that, for the time being, I’m content to leave things as they are, and devote my focus to this specific task. But I’m still looking forward to the renewed commitments of a new year, and whatever experiences that might bring.