First Thoughts

Whenever I meet someone, one of the first thoughts that zips through my head is to wonder what he/she is like sexually. It makes no difference if the matter of the moment is a friend I’ve known for a while or an attractive woman in a passing car. My thoughts are never gender specific – guy, gal, or couple (and, in the case of a couple, I’ll sometimes look at her first, sometimes him) – somewhere along the line, more often than not, I’ll find myself giving the subject at least a moment’s consideration.

Sometimes these thoughts are general, other times focused on specifics. Sometimes they’re questions, while at other times my first impression will run strong enough to become fact in my own mind. These thoughts seem to come from nowhere, and (to my mind) feel entirely random, but there is some pattern to them.

I find a degree of fascination in the holding of intimate knowledge. When chatting with couples, I often look from one to the other and think: You know what he/she likes… and then proceed to ponder what secrets each might be able to tell. What particular, unique act turns each of them on? What have they shared with each other that would, if revealed, be embarrassing to them?

[This, I think, is tied to the hidden thrill I get from knowing things about what Dee… things that NO ONE else knows. After you’ve been together a while, there’s a deep connection between two people in these things… knowing what you each look like naked, what sounds arise from within at as you come, the naughty, explicit turn-ons nobody else knows.]

When dealing with individuals, especially upon first meeting, I tend to ponder the basics: What does s/he look like naked? What particular predilection really drives him/her wild? Has s/he ever had a threesome? Is s/he aggressive… or timid?

The thoughts can be positive, or pseudo-negative. For example, when I see the (stereotypical) chain-smoking, scrubble-faced, guy with mossy teeth on the news describing how fast the river rose, forcing him, his wife, his five kids, and their six dogs to run for their lives… again, and how this time, after everything dries out, he’s gonna put the trailer up on blocks like it’s s’posed to be... the first thing I think is… he’s got a wife? Kids? Someone actually fucks him? Eeeeew!

Usually, however, the thoughts are positive.

Occasionally these musings are a mild turn-on, but most of the time they are merely simple clinical analyses. As mentioned earlier in this blog, it’s actually been quite some time since I’ve really noticed anyone besides Dee – in a sexual, whoa-isn’t-she-hot way, that is – so, while I frequently think about these things, my thoughts all have a decidedly academic flavor: Interesting… the waitress is pretty good looking, and I’m getting a serious 'threesome-friendly' vibe from her… so… let's see... what appetizers do they have here?

It’s kind of sad, really. I think about sex a lot, but most of the time it's not in a way that gets my heart pumping. I have no idea why this is.