Any number of Random thoughts

1. In terms of this whole posting on the blog thing, Dee and I discussed it a bit over the weekend, and I can see her point – I have been “nagging” her somewhat. The trouble is, she has asked me to make these types of demands upon her and then hold her accountable when necessary, so I find I’m having a hard time threading the needle between accountability and nagging. It's a tough shot. However, I have agreed to try to be less nagging and more supportive.

2. On that same front, I do want to point out that I have, on numerous occasions, offered assistance in the idea-generating department… everything from posting questions for Dee to answer (TMI style), to offering to submit suggestions for specific “Top Ten (or Top Five)” lists I would be interested in seeing her post (such as her top five favorite sexual positions, etc.). But I have learned that simply giving what amounts to “assignments” doesn’t work, so while I’ve been making these offers, I’ve been waiting for an actual request from Dee before delivering. I did, however, email her four short questions that she’s promised to answer and (I think) post here.

3. I’ve posted on this topic before, but there is a seriously significant chasm between what I sometimes find myself thinking, and what actions I’m actually comfortable taking, and it is unmercifully frustrating. This weekend there were a couple moments when I was seriously right on the edge of something (depending on the moment, either pulling down Dee’s waistband, grabbing her hips, and doing her from behind right then and there, or unzipping and begging for a blowjob, or whatever)… but I just can’t act on these thoughts. Never mind that Dee wants me to make such demands and act in these manners, and would welcome the change in behavior… it just feels wrong to do so.

4. On the other hand (and this is just for Dee) – I finally realized I can describe the feeling perfectly! Dee: It’s the same thing you feel at the end of the party, when everyone says hey, it’s not a problem, go home… and you just CAN’T without helping with the cleanup first because leaving the mess behind feels… wrong.

5. Work-wise, the light at the end of the tunnel is still somewhat in the distance, but I think I’m going to try a more balanced approach here… post regularly, but less wordy, more listy. Like this post. :)

6. I see that, after weeks of completely uninteresting CL ads, last week, while I was ignoring everything non-work, there were a few I would have actually forwarded on to Dee for her opinion on. Such is life, I guess.