We have another weekend coming up, and once again Dee and I will be on our own for at least a portion of it. It’s amazing, I think, to have a kid that, having yet to reach 10 years of age, already has a life of her own (ours spent last weekend with one friend, and will be spending tomorrow night with another). But it also makes me feel a little old. That’s not a good thing, since I already feel older than I am!
[Tangential thought: looking at the last HNT post, I think from now on I’m going to make Dee post the pictures in a larger format. I’m squinting at the screen here!]
Last weekend we did enjoy ourselves, and had a pretty decent date night. This weekend we weren’t able to plan ahead (we didn’t know we’d be on our own until a couple hours ago), and we’re already having dinner with friends, so it’ll be up to us to put the time to use by throwing together some last minute ideas to fill the little remaining free time available. But I’ve been wondering…
We’ve talked about a threesome (and many other things, but I’ve almost always used that as the standard example, and will stick to it now) now and then, though nothing’s ever come of it – Note: I’m not complaining in any way (I should state that for the record).
… and I wonder, are we wasting a great chance to turn an idea into reality … and if so, which idea? Should I “knuckle down” and make sure that, when these free nights crop up, we knock something off our sexual to do list? Should one of us really gone all gung-ho on at least trying to make that threesome happen?
I realize that the kid will soon be older, and have a job, and a car, and a college dorm. She’ll move out, and we’ll have the rest of our lives together, but who knows what the future holds? For some couples, age and health aren’t an issue, and for others, those things are. So… are we wasting valuable time, or is it good enough to just enjoy the time together, without making a focused and concerted effort to accomplish a specific task or goal (pleasurable though it may be)?
I was looking at our rules this morning, and was confronted with a schizophrenic set of thoughts and feelings about the enterprise. On the one hand, I had a sense of anticipation reading over all the things that were still upcoming on my, and Dee’s list of obligations for the year. On the other hand, I did feel some sense of… a task-oriented approach to the list. I found myself thinking: I can do this on this day… that I can do next month… the trick is, when can I work this into the schedule?... It was more business-Blackberry than wild-gigolo.
Again, I’m not complaining, and I think Dee is right in saying that it’s all about making time, and putting in the effort. Sex is fun, but after more than ten years together, it’s easy to allow other things (like fatigue, or after school activities, or a good TV show) get in the way. But sometimes it seems like, when it comes to sex and sexuality, the more I think about who I am, what I want, and what I’d like to change, the less and less sexual these thoughts become. It’s as if I'm slowly desensitizing myself to my own ideas, becoming less and less aroused by the prospect of the very things that once interested me so much (and I’ve never been a highly aroused individual to begin with). The younger version of me (and even a pretty recent version) would have practically gotten off in his jeans at the very mention of the possibility of a threesome… but now I feel much more blasé about the idea. A threesome? Sure… but if it doesn’t happen, no big deal.
Or maybe it’s just that the sun has been gone for a while now, and, as is always the case this time of year, my energy levels are at low tide, and I just can’t wait for Spring to arrive.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Thoughts on HNT
1. It occurs to me that the whole idea of HNT is the “half-naked” part… and so far, all the pictures we’ve posted (all two of them) have been totally naked. I will have to get a little more creative and come up with something a little more half than whole.
2. Speaking of which, is there a “totally naked” day? TNF, maybe?
3. Dee wants me to come up with an idea or two for HNT that includes the both of us, but I’m still thinking about that one. The better looking half is already in front of the camera.
4. I do have a couple ideas for future pictures I think would work out nicely, but I’m not sure if the logistics of taking them will be easily overcome. When you have a kid, simple addition like “daylight + empty house + day off + naked wife = HNT picture” can turn into complicated math!
2. Speaking of which, is there a “totally naked” day? TNF, maybe?
3. Dee wants me to come up with an idea or two for HNT that includes the both of us, but I’m still thinking about that one. The better looking half is already in front of the camera.
4. I do have a couple ideas for future pictures I think would work out nicely, but I’m not sure if the logistics of taking them will be easily overcome. When you have a kid, simple addition like “daylight + empty house + day off + naked wife = HNT picture” can turn into complicated math!
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
What a Great Weekend!
I think we wind up with more weekends and evenings alone than most. Not only do we plan date nights, and take advantage of resident camps in the summer, but our daughter has a plethora of friends with whom she loves to have sleepovers. This weekend we had planned date night for Saturday night and she was going to have a sleepover at a friend's. That friend's parents decided they were going to take the girls to the beach for the day, so it was more convenient to have her for Friday night too, and then drop her off on Sunday. Just like that, we had a free weekend!
After breakfast on Saturday we decided to take a walk together, since it was a beautiful spring day. It was gorgeous and we enjoyed the fresh air. After our walk, we cuddled up on the couch. We had early dinner reservations, so we knew we only had a couple hours.
DH was stroking my pussy through my jeans and I could feel my pussy getting wet. He unbuttoned my jeans to gain access and was enjoying my cleanly shaven pussy. Not to be outdone, I was stroking his hard cock through his jeans, until I couldn't wait any longer to have his cock in my mouth. I unbuttoned his jeans and pulled his dick out until it was free and awaiting my attention. I was softly licking and sucking his cock for quite a while while he stroked my pussy. I grew impatient, however, and kicked off my jeans so he could have even better access. That didn't last long until I was up and stripping fully in front of him, and then tugged his jeans all the way off too.
I climbed on top of him and welcomed his cock deep into my pussy. I rocked and grinded on his cock, rubbing my swollen clit against him and building the pressure, all the while kissing his beautiful pink lips. I swung around and pulled him on top of me, wanting to feel his weight on me and let him really dig in and go as deep as possible. This was incredible, but it still was not making me come. I asked him if I could flip us over, and he grabbed my hand and pulled me up the stairs to our bed.
He laid down and I climbed on top, relishing the beautifully alive feeling that I get when we are naked together in the sunlight. It only took a couple of strokes before the wave of orgasm crashed over me. He let me bask and laugh for a minute or two and then flipped us around so that he could penetrate me and I watched his face as he stroked his way to his own orgasm. I love when we have the house to ourselves because my normally silent DH lets go a little and expresses his coming with small gasps.
We were dozing for just a few minutes when DH said hang on and left the room. He was back shortly with my camera and told me to stand by the window. We so rarely get to be naked in the daylight he wanted to take advantage!
We had a wonderful dinner and hung out with friends. We capped the night off with another romp and then while hanging around waiting for the drop off, I passed the time by swirling my tongue around the head of his cock and sucking him off.
What a great weekend!
After breakfast on Saturday we decided to take a walk together, since it was a beautiful spring day. It was gorgeous and we enjoyed the fresh air. After our walk, we cuddled up on the couch. We had early dinner reservations, so we knew we only had a couple hours.
DH was stroking my pussy through my jeans and I could feel my pussy getting wet. He unbuttoned my jeans to gain access and was enjoying my cleanly shaven pussy. Not to be outdone, I was stroking his hard cock through his jeans, until I couldn't wait any longer to have his cock in my mouth. I unbuttoned his jeans and pulled his dick out until it was free and awaiting my attention. I was softly licking and sucking his cock for quite a while while he stroked my pussy. I grew impatient, however, and kicked off my jeans so he could have even better access. That didn't last long until I was up and stripping fully in front of him, and then tugged his jeans all the way off too.
I climbed on top of him and welcomed his cock deep into my pussy. I rocked and grinded on his cock, rubbing my swollen clit against him and building the pressure, all the while kissing his beautiful pink lips. I swung around and pulled him on top of me, wanting to feel his weight on me and let him really dig in and go as deep as possible. This was incredible, but it still was not making me come. I asked him if I could flip us over, and he grabbed my hand and pulled me up the stairs to our bed.
He laid down and I climbed on top, relishing the beautifully alive feeling that I get when we are naked together in the sunlight. It only took a couple of strokes before the wave of orgasm crashed over me. He let me bask and laugh for a minute or two and then flipped us around so that he could penetrate me and I watched his face as he stroked his way to his own orgasm. I love when we have the house to ourselves because my normally silent DH lets go a little and expresses his coming with small gasps.
We were dozing for just a few minutes when DH said hang on and left the room. He was back shortly with my camera and told me to stand by the window. We so rarely get to be naked in the daylight he wanted to take advantage!
We had a wonderful dinner and hung out with friends. We capped the night off with another romp and then while hanging around waiting for the drop off, I passed the time by swirling my tongue around the head of his cock and sucking him off.
What a great weekend!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
TMI
1. What do find is the most exciting part of a new sexual encounter?
I haven’t had one of those in… what? 15 years? So I’m really answering based on memory. But in the past, I always liked “the chase” the best. The seduction and flirtation, and the sense of not really knowing what might come next.
2. Do you have "a most exciting part of a sexual encounter" with a usual partner?
The sound Dee makes the first time she’s penetrated in an encounter (whether finger, tongue, or cock). It’s an exhilatory semi-gasping moan that’s part anticipation, part pure pleasureable satisfaction, part erotic enjoyment...
Impossible to describe, but very very nice to hear.
3. How open and honest are you about your life with someone you just met?
I think open and honest are two totally different things. I would like to think I’m honest with people all the time, but I open up to almost no one. Even my close friends don’t know about this blog, for example.
4. How open and honest are you about your life with someone you work with?
Again, I’m honest, but not open. I’m not close to anyone I work with, and therefore feel that 99% of my personal life is none of their business.
5. How open and honest are you about your life with a casual acquaintance who lives in your neighborhood (or the parent a your child's friend or...)?
As boring as my answers might be this week, they’re all the same.
Bonus (as in optional): Define a "normal" as in "normal relationship" or "normal sex life".
A normal sex life and/or a normal relationship is whatever the two (or sometimes more) people involved say/think/feel/agree is normal.
I haven’t had one of those in… what? 15 years? So I’m really answering based on memory. But in the past, I always liked “the chase” the best. The seduction and flirtation, and the sense of not really knowing what might come next.
2. Do you have "a most exciting part of a sexual encounter" with a usual partner?
The sound Dee makes the first time she’s penetrated in an encounter (whether finger, tongue, or cock). It’s an exhilatory semi-gasping moan that’s part anticipation, part pure pleasureable satisfaction, part erotic enjoyment...
Impossible to describe, but very very nice to hear.
3. How open and honest are you about your life with someone you just met?
I think open and honest are two totally different things. I would like to think I’m honest with people all the time, but I open up to almost no one. Even my close friends don’t know about this blog, for example.
4. How open and honest are you about your life with someone you work with?
Again, I’m honest, but not open. I’m not close to anyone I work with, and therefore feel that 99% of my personal life is none of their business.
5. How open and honest are you about your life with a casual acquaintance who lives in your neighborhood (or the parent a your child's friend or...)?
As boring as my answers might be this week, they’re all the same.
Bonus (as in optional): Define a "normal" as in "normal relationship" or "normal sex life".
A normal sex life and/or a normal relationship is whatever the two (or sometimes more) people involved say/think/feel/agree is normal.
Monday, February 23, 2009
I Hate It When That Happens (#2)
I Hate It When That Happens (#2):
The Wrong Time
(A story based on the compilation of many true-life instances)
It’s 10am, and I’ve been at work for 3 hours, but it’s only now that the coffee kicks in. For the first time all day, I feel awake, alert, and fairly energized. I’m online, taking five (ok… ten!) minutes to get away from work. After surfing through the news on NFL.com, then click over to the Sports Illustrated coverage.
That’s when it happens. Suddenly, out of nowhere, I’m a little bit horny.
Now?
Last night I was so exhausted that, cuddling in bed with Dee, I didn’t even respond to the overt signals she sent indicating she wanted to play. I kept thinking I ought to make a move, react, send a signal of my own, but I felt tired. My eyes kept dropping shut, sending a signal of fatigue that was somehow, inexplicably more powerful. Moving an arm seemed like too much effort. Against my mind’s desires, I didn’t react at all. Instead, I told myself that if she pushed the issue just a little more… a little more… just a little more… and when Dee gave up, my mind pummeled me with it’s disapproval and disappointment, but my body relaxed more deeply, as if it knew it wouldn’t be called on to perform.
Now I’m sitting at my desk, wishing Dee was here. In this moment, I don’t care that there are coworkers in plain view, or that I’d get fired… if she were here I’d bend her over my desk and fuck her right here. I’d push her under my desk and beg her to suck me off. In this moment, all I want is to get off. I want to come, and come hard.
Great grief.
There’s no reason for the sudden surge – it’s not like I’ve got a hot co-worker who just cruised by in a low-cut shirt and miniskirt. I'm not surfing porn, or daydreaming about the last time I got off on Dee's body. I’m staring at news headlines, that’s all. I’ve gotten this same feeling while staring out the window at the traffic, or while composing a letter on my keyboard. It’s simply an unsolicited rush of… hormones, maybe?
And I’m not just horny… I’m also totally pissed off.
If you believe the stereotype, guys walk around with perpetual hard-ons. They feel this way all the time. They’ll nail anything with a hole and a heartbeat. They spend most of their day thinking about it. They could be bleeding from their eyes and on the verge of starving to death, and if their wives offered them a blowjob, they’d still take it.
But me? I get these flashes once in a while… but never when the urge can be acted upon. They overwhelm me for all of thirty seconds – thirty seconds during which I want to pull my hair out, jerk off, and fuck, all at the same time. It feels incredible, and if I knew how, I’d want to feel this way all the damn time. But after it fades… well, let’s just say I’m left feeling very un-stereotypical.
What the hell is wrong with me?
Even as I wonder this, the hormonal tide subsides. As always, the urge passes quickly, and with it, the anger slips away, too. It’s a 30-second rush of adrenaline, there and then gone again.
But I wonder… which is more frustrating… Is it finding myself completely horny when there is nothing I can do about it? Or is it realizing that, for me, at least, feeling this horny is a momentary experience, a feeling that is never lasting, never sustained?
The Wrong Time
(A story based on the compilation of many true-life instances)
It’s 10am, and I’ve been at work for 3 hours, but it’s only now that the coffee kicks in. For the first time all day, I feel awake, alert, and fairly energized. I’m online, taking five (ok… ten!) minutes to get away from work. After surfing through the news on NFL.com, then click over to the Sports Illustrated coverage.
That’s when it happens. Suddenly, out of nowhere, I’m a little bit horny.
Now?
Last night I was so exhausted that, cuddling in bed with Dee, I didn’t even respond to the overt signals she sent indicating she wanted to play. I kept thinking I ought to make a move, react, send a signal of my own, but I felt tired. My eyes kept dropping shut, sending a signal of fatigue that was somehow, inexplicably more powerful. Moving an arm seemed like too much effort. Against my mind’s desires, I didn’t react at all. Instead, I told myself that if she pushed the issue just a little more… a little more… just a little more… and when Dee gave up, my mind pummeled me with it’s disapproval and disappointment, but my body relaxed more deeply, as if it knew it wouldn’t be called on to perform.
Now I’m sitting at my desk, wishing Dee was here. In this moment, I don’t care that there are coworkers in plain view, or that I’d get fired… if she were here I’d bend her over my desk and fuck her right here. I’d push her under my desk and beg her to suck me off. In this moment, all I want is to get off. I want to come, and come hard.
Great grief.
There’s no reason for the sudden surge – it’s not like I’ve got a hot co-worker who just cruised by in a low-cut shirt and miniskirt. I'm not surfing porn, or daydreaming about the last time I got off on Dee's body. I’m staring at news headlines, that’s all. I’ve gotten this same feeling while staring out the window at the traffic, or while composing a letter on my keyboard. It’s simply an unsolicited rush of… hormones, maybe?
And I’m not just horny… I’m also totally pissed off.
If you believe the stereotype, guys walk around with perpetual hard-ons. They feel this way all the time. They’ll nail anything with a hole and a heartbeat. They spend most of their day thinking about it. They could be bleeding from their eyes and on the verge of starving to death, and if their wives offered them a blowjob, they’d still take it.
But me? I get these flashes once in a while… but never when the urge can be acted upon. They overwhelm me for all of thirty seconds – thirty seconds during which I want to pull my hair out, jerk off, and fuck, all at the same time. It feels incredible, and if I knew how, I’d want to feel this way all the damn time. But after it fades… well, let’s just say I’m left feeling very un-stereotypical.
What the hell is wrong with me?
Even as I wonder this, the hormonal tide subsides. As always, the urge passes quickly, and with it, the anger slips away, too. It’s a 30-second rush of adrenaline, there and then gone again.
But I wonder… which is more frustrating… Is it finding myself completely horny when there is nothing I can do about it? Or is it realizing that, for me, at least, feeling this horny is a momentary experience, a feeling that is never lasting, never sustained?
Friday, February 20, 2009
Then, and Now
One thing I love about posting a picture of Dee on our blog… while I’m sitting at work, I can flip over to the website and sneak a peek of her nakedness! The trouble is, I have to resist the urge to make it an obsession. :)
Shortly before Christmas, I brought Dee to my company’s holiday party, and to spice things up a little, I posed a challenge to her: guess which of my co-workers I think is the hottest. She never told me if she had fun with the game or not, but I found it an entertaining exercise.
The event has since had me pondering one aspect of my life: flirtation.
When Dee and I got back together (for the third time), and began our journey towards marriage, I stopped flirting with others. It wasn’t a conscious decision… it’s simply something that happened. I don’t know if the root cause for this is. It might be some underlying morality regarding marriage. It might be that soon thereafter I changed careers from the restaurant business to an office environment, where I feel such behavior is less acceptable. It could just be that I’m totally smitten with Dee. Who knows?
As I’ve mentioned previously in this blog, earlier in my life (from the time I was 13 or 14 right on through until I was in my early 20’s), I was a voracious flirter. I could flirt with the best of them, and it wasn’t about trying to hook up, but simply about having fun. I flirted with married, fifty-year-old waitresses, and cute eighteen-year-old hostesses. And it was probably a good thing that it was all about having fun, because on those rare occasions I was flirting with the intention of getting somewhere, I almost never closed the deal – other than with Dee herself.
What interests me about this is that now, when it comes to flirtation, I don’t even know where to start anymore. This is slightly frustrating to me because, now that our relationship has begun moving towards this more adventurous direction, I can’t help but think that my current mental/emotional positioning has prevented me from helping to advance our explorations.
When Dee writes: I was thinking of all this because DH answered an online ad today to a woman looking for a couple to have fun with. An ongoing thing. I think this would be terrific. Something I've been wanting to explore for a while. – I can’t help but wonder… if I were still that flirtatious restaurateur, would I be better able to fulfill such a fantasy… to bring home a girl for Dee to enjoy… for us both to enjoy?
It seems to me the likely answer is yes.
So the question now is… how can I do so now?
Shortly before Christmas, I brought Dee to my company’s holiday party, and to spice things up a little, I posed a challenge to her: guess which of my co-workers I think is the hottest. She never told me if she had fun with the game or not, but I found it an entertaining exercise.
The event has since had me pondering one aspect of my life: flirtation.
When Dee and I got back together (for the third time), and began our journey towards marriage, I stopped flirting with others. It wasn’t a conscious decision… it’s simply something that happened. I don’t know if the root cause for this is. It might be some underlying morality regarding marriage. It might be that soon thereafter I changed careers from the restaurant business to an office environment, where I feel such behavior is less acceptable. It could just be that I’m totally smitten with Dee. Who knows?
As I’ve mentioned previously in this blog, earlier in my life (from the time I was 13 or 14 right on through until I was in my early 20’s), I was a voracious flirter. I could flirt with the best of them, and it wasn’t about trying to hook up, but simply about having fun. I flirted with married, fifty-year-old waitresses, and cute eighteen-year-old hostesses. And it was probably a good thing that it was all about having fun, because on those rare occasions I was flirting with the intention of getting somewhere, I almost never closed the deal – other than with Dee herself.
What interests me about this is that now, when it comes to flirtation, I don’t even know where to start anymore. This is slightly frustrating to me because, now that our relationship has begun moving towards this more adventurous direction, I can’t help but think that my current mental/emotional positioning has prevented me from helping to advance our explorations.
When Dee writes: I was thinking of all this because DH answered an online ad today to a woman looking for a couple to have fun with. An ongoing thing. I think this would be terrific. Something I've been wanting to explore for a while. – I can’t help but wonder… if I were still that flirtatious restaurateur, would I be better able to fulfill such a fantasy… to bring home a girl for Dee to enjoy… for us both to enjoy?
It seems to me the likely answer is yes.
So the question now is… how can I do so now?
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