Then, and Now

One thing I love about posting a picture of Dee on our blog… while I’m sitting at work, I can flip over to the website and sneak a peek of her nakedness! The trouble is, I have to resist the urge to make it an obsession. :)

Shortly before Christmas, I brought Dee to my company’s holiday party, and to spice things up a little, I posed a challenge to her: guess which of my co-workers I think is the hottest. She never told me if she had fun with the game or not, but I found it an entertaining exercise.

The event has since had me pondering one aspect of my life: flirtation.

When Dee and I got back together (for the third time), and began our journey towards marriage, I stopped flirting with others. It wasn’t a conscious decision… it’s simply something that happened. I don’t know if the root cause for this is. It might be some underlying morality regarding marriage. It might be that soon thereafter I changed careers from the restaurant business to an office environment, where I feel such behavior is less acceptable. It could just be that I’m totally smitten with Dee. Who knows?

As I’ve mentioned previously in this blog, earlier in my life (from the time I was 13 or 14 right on through until I was in my early 20’s), I was a voracious flirter. I could flirt with the best of them, and it wasn’t about trying to hook up, but simply about having fun. I flirted with married, fifty-year-old waitresses, and cute eighteen-year-old hostesses. And it was probably a good thing that it was all about having fun, because on those rare occasions I was flirting with the intention of getting somewhere, I almost never closed the deal – other than with Dee herself.

What interests me about this is that now, when it comes to flirtation, I don’t even know where to start anymore. This is slightly frustrating to me because, now that our relationship has begun moving towards this more adventurous direction, I can’t help but think that my current mental/emotional positioning has prevented me from helping to advance our explorations.

When Dee writes: I was thinking of all this because DH answered an online ad today to a woman looking for a couple to have fun with. An ongoing thing. I think this would be terrific. Something I've been wanting to explore for a while. – I can’t help but wonder… if I were still that flirtatious restaurateur, would I be better able to fulfill such a fantasy… to bring home a girl for Dee to enjoy… for us both to enjoy?

It seems to me the likely answer is yes.

So the question now is… how can I do so now?