A Direct Response

I’ve been thinking about what to post here today, and finally settled on a direct response to a few things Dee posted recently:

Dee wrote: Matthew McConaughey is gorgeous, yes, with those twinkly blue eyes that can smolder in an instance, the blindingly white smile, the dimples, the hair, the aw shucks demeanor. I mean, wow. What girl could resist that? Seriously, what girl? He's on like every woman I know's top 10 list… AND...if I had the opportunity, I'm pretty sure I would fuck him a heartbeat.

This is where Dee and I diverge. She’s adventurous enough (or confident enough, or whatever) that if the opportunity arose, I’m pretty sure she really would run off and take advantage of it. Me? If you lined up my top ten list on the bed naked, and let me have my pick… I’m pretty sure I wouldn't fuck any of them. Part of that is that I’m less adventurous than Dee is, and part of it is probably that, in all honesty, sex just isn’t that important to me (I like it, and I enjoy it, but if I had to live without it, it wouldn’t rip a gaping hole in my life). I think most of it, however, is that I’d rather just be with Dee.

Dee also writes: …I tell you so often how cute you are that you obviously don't even hear me anymore. [This was said in response to my statement that “she’ll tell me three times (in a semi-orgasmic squeal) just how cute Dermot Mulroney is over the course of a single 23-minute episode of Friends” – and I acknowledge that she does tell me I’m cute quite often… just without the orgasmic squeal!]

This is a second point of divergence: I tell Dee she’s cute, too, but I can’t recall the last time I told Dee I found someone on the TV cute – let alone telling her the same three times in 20 minutes! The main reason? I just don’t feel that way about anyone other than Dee herself. Even when Jennifer Anniston is nipping right out of her T-shirt, I don’t really notice it until Dee points it out… and when she does, I don’t really care. I suspect it isn’t even 10% as arousing to me as it would be to any other guy. I have Dee, and she’s really all I have eyes for.

And within these points lies the basis for my last post… there IS always a chance Dee will wake up one morning and decide things could be better, or more entertaining, or more satisfying, or happier, or more fun (or any of a hundred other adjectives). She notices the cute guys, and can say (honestly) that she’d fuck them in a heartbeat. Me? I’ve even tried saying such things… I've tried thinking such things… but I might as well tell Dee I’m a ballroom dancing fiend while I’m at it – they’d both be equally true.

I’m not complaining about a spouse’s wandering eye, here (or anything else) – she’s allowed to look, and opine, and fantasize, and whatever else, just as I am (even if I don’t actively use that right). All I’m saying is… it IS reasonable to accept the fact that, whether remote or not, it’s possible Dee will decide an adjective upgrade is in order, especially if I'm making her life miserable instead of adding to its enjoyment, satisfaction, and happiness. And that's my job… to keep her happy, and prevent that from ever happening.

Hence, when Dee also writes: …all of my friends are sick with jealously at how very much in love we still are, after all these years. We are so far from divorce it's like we're not even married. I swear, if I tell my peeps how cute my husband is one more time, I am frightened they won't be my peeps anymore! I get so many eyerolls, I am worried about their retinas. DH is so amazing, DH is so cute, DH is so sweet, DH is so sexy.

… I merely take it as an indication I’m doing my job fairly well, at least for now.

Personally, I don’t think THAT’S such a bad thing.