Changes

In the past, I’ve lamented on the thrill-less nature of getting older, and the way I feel the energy of youth slipping away, but that’s only a small part of the “getting older” syndrome. The past couple lists I’ve posted and the most recent TMI got me thinking back to my youth… and I’ve realized there are other changes that have occurred. Somewhere along the way, I grew up, and started sounding and acting in ways FAR too similar to my father to make me happy. Whether it’s genetics or environment doesn’t matter… I’ve matured, and the changes occurred subtly, without notice:

I used to try hard to ensure that I had something to do every Friday and Saturday night… and every night during school vacations! Now, I’d be happy taking a week off work, just to do nothing at all.

I used to love to travel – it was an irresistible burning desire that hit me every time I got on the highway to go to work – the urge to just keep driving, and visit someplace new. It caused me to take off four or five times a year, to pick a spot on the map, and just drive. Now, I commute on the expressway every day, and feel no such need. I like to think that means I’m happy where I am, but I do miss that call of the road.

I used drink three “Double Gulps” (from 7-Eleven) of Mountain Dew between breakfast and 4pm (and it wasn’t until after 4pm that my REAL caffeine consumption began!), now, a cup of coffee in the morning, and another after lunch, is more than enough to get me through the day.

Often, that Mountain Dew would be seasoned with SoCo (Southern Comfort) or Blueberry Schnapps – a pint over the school day, a fifth if it was the weekend. Now, a glass of wine at dinner is enough to leave me loopy enough to worry about the drive home.

And, of course, there’s the dietary changes. I eat healthier, and keep the calorie intake to what’s reasonable.

There are many other changes I could probably point to without difficulty, but those are the most obvious to me, and most of them I really don’t miss at all. Plus, none of these things are changes for the worse, and I don’t claim them to be. What’s interesting to me is that none of these changes were really a conscious choice I made. The closest to that would be the eating healthy thing, with was Dee’s doing, really, and I simply found myself along for the ride.

I’m not suggesting I want to start re-living my younger days in these ways, either (though I do wonder if I’d feel peppier if I reintroduced myself to Mountain Dew). I’m perfectly satisfied with the way things are, and if I tried to live life differently over this weekend, I’d almost certainly have to take all of next week off to recover, and might even spend the better part of it suffering various forms of misery.

I did, however, want to put these things down, as I think this “growing up” phenomenon (or, how I’ve “personally matured”) has had deep and lasting impacts on how I react and view things in the sexual arena… which I will address in some depth on the ‘morrow…