Too late...

Well, I had planned to post today. Really, I did. But since I have been obviously and overtly rebuffed several times in the past two weeks, I wasn't sure what I could say. I have found that saying nothing is not good (frankly, as soon as I saw that DH had posted, I knew what it would say), but worse is when I get pissed off and say things I can't take back, especially since they are in writing.

A couple of things never cease to amaze me:

1. That after being together for over 20 years, DH thinks he knows me, but then writes stuff that shows me he really doesn't. To suggest that my horniness can be measured by my participation in a blog is insane. To measure my annoyance by my participation in a blog is much more likely. I think about sex often, want it daily (at one time or another), and even put myself out there and tell DH I want it even though I KNOW I'm going to get the eyeroll (which is oh so flattering). But to me, blogging is not about sex or arousal. That said, I do know that reading words makes a connection with DH that my speaking doesn't create. And for that, I am sorry that I always put off blogging along with the rest of my "really should do but am clueless where to start" items.

2. That for as incredibly happy as we are, we are so truly incompatible. DH spends hours and hours writing books of questions, asking questions, asking for lists, asking for posts, creating games, and making lists of things to do. I hate answering questions, doing things because I have to, thinking up questions, trying to find new and creative ways of turning him on. The "repayment" started out as cute and novel and fun, and we had sex for 9 days because of it. Great! Then I got busy, forgot a day, and had to try to come up with 10 MORE ways of turning him on. Which is not as easy as it sounds. Everything I like, he hates. I have asked for a list, but never received one. But he gives me all kinds of other lists.

3. That for as incompatible as we are, we are the same in a lot of ways. We both hate obligations. And we hate when fun things get turned into obligations. Don't give DH a recipe or a script, because he will turn off instantly. While I prefer some direction, I don't like being told what to do either. And when you start over-directing, anything fun starts to be an obligation. And the more I get nagged and guilted into doing something, the less turned on it will ever make me.

Not sure where all this is going, but I find it interesting that a naked woman writhing next to him, kissing and stroking his cock and begging him to fuck her does not get him in a receptive mood, but posting a list will.

Speaking of which:

Questions for Dee: Accessories Edition

1. Describe your first experience with a sex toy.

One of my very first lovers came up with the brilliant idea to try a candle and that theme was repeated a couple of times, as well as other everyday household objects. Quite frankly, it did nothing for me, but my boyfriends should were excited about trying something new. My first actual sex toy was a vibrator purchased just a few years and ago and it was, um, eye-opening.

2. What was the first sex toy or accessory you ever bought?

I hosted a Passion Party where a wide variety of sex toys and accessory were passed around for inspection. I purchased a couple and the first I tried was a purple rabbit vibrator. I had not idea I could come that fast. Still one of my favorites...I should really make more use of that drawer of fun!

3. What was the strangest or most inventive thing you ever used as a sexual accessory?

We did use a cucumber once, which I thought was strange and inventive at the time, and now I know that it's really commonplace.

4. Describe the first sexy lingerie you owned.

I've always liked pretty lingerie! I remember I had a black tulle nighty with a big emerald green bow across the boobs. I loved that thing and it inspired me to get boudoir pictures taken in it. I have never been a stick figure, always having big breasts, wide hips, and ample curves. But I loved having my pictures taken. I felt so beautiful. My boyfriend at the time was completely pissed that I had them taken by a male photography, so I never purchased them. I kick myself to this day for not buying them for myself.

5. What is your favorite sexual accessory?

My husband!! Yum!

Bonus Question: If money were no object, what is the one sexual accessory you would buy right now?

If money were no object, probably one of those wedge set ups (darn it, can't remember the name now). But there's a whole system for new positions. To me, that's one of the joys of sex, just varying the angle a bit can give you a whole new sensation.

Questions for Dee: The Most-est Edition

1. What is the most embarrassing thing you have ever done in a sexual situation?

I can't say...it's too embarrassing! But the usual passing air from inapproriate areas at inopportune times comes to mind.

2. What is the most erotic thing you have ever done?

I think the most erotic thing I have ever done is....darn. I can't think of a single thing. I was going to say taking lap dance lessons but since I am too embarrassed to actually give a lap dance to my husband, that falls short. Though actually WATCHING a lap dance performed sure makes my moves less embarrassing...or more!

3. What is the sexiest thing you have ever done?

I think DH would say the sexiest thing I have ever done was to go to a strip club with him and buy him a lap dance. I would say the sexiest thing I have ever done is arrange for date nights.


4. What is the wildest thing you have ever done (sexually)?

Giving DH a blowjob in the backseat of a car with his best friend driving!

5. What is the most adventurous thing you have ever done (sexually)?

Going to a swingers club.

Bonus Question: What is the craziest or most adventurous thing (sexually speaking) you would be willing to do right now (in the next 24 hours) if your partner asked you to? Have a threesome!

Questions for Dee: The Audio Edition

1. Name the sexiest song you can think of.

Most of Prince's music is sexy to me, as is some of Madonna's. I will say Erotic City at the moment though.

2. Name the sexiest word you can think of.

Fuck. Said in a whisper.

3. Name the sexiest sound (nonverbal) that you can think of.

The sound of breathing that DH makes when he stops smiling and really gets serious. Also the sexiest look he has.

4. What is the most embarrassing thing you have ever said in a sexual situation?

Um, hey. It's up a little farther...

5. What is the most erotic thing anyone has ever said to you?

My name. When DH says my name, I almost come on cue.

Bonus Question: If a complete stranger were to walk up to you and whisper something sexual in your ear, what do you hope they would say?

You look like you would be a lot of fun in bed...can I find out?

Would your response differ based on gender (male vs. female)? Probably not.

Location (your office vs. a strip club)? Probably not, but the timing might be different!