Tuesday, May 12, 2009

More TMI

My mind is very compartmentalized. I am not a very good multi-tasker. I need to finish one thing before I start on another. Each item I work on has to have my full attention and focus. If I try to start something else, both suffer.

However, while I am working on one thing, my mind can "noodle" several other things in the background. These things simmer without my conscious input. When I am ready to work on them, I pull them to the front burner and turn the heat up. For the most part, the hard work is done and the simmering pays off with richness.

Now, my brain has more than your average four burners. Sometimes, however, there aren't enough burners for all the things that I need to simmer. In which case, I take the highest priority pots, and put them on my burners. Those are typically pots that are obligated to someone else. Depending on the workload, work pots sometimes take up most of the burners. Leaving one or two for the community service activities I perform for the girl in our life. The pots I know I can put off for a while get put back in the fridge until some burners free up.

Every once in a while, when I pull a pot out of the fridge, it just doesn't seem to want to warm up, let alone simmer. I keep it on the burner, and every once in a while, return to stir it. But nothing happens. Eventually, like overcooked fondue, the ingredients will turn into a hard ball of unusable ingredients.

As every good cook knows, and the reason I am not one, is if you allow yourself to be distracted for too long and neglect a simmering pot, your dish has a high probability of being ruined. Setting a timer sometimes works. It redirects your attention to your pot, giving you the opportunity to adjust the heat, put a cover on it, or if it's ready, finish it off. But even the best cooks sometimes have too many timers going off at the same time, and find it impossible to finish all the dishes that need to be finished. When this occurs, the dishes that HAVE to be finished get the attention (the bosses' family, the food critic, the health department inspector), while knowing that some of the dishes will be sacrificed (the employees' meals, the cook's own meal, the kids' meal). Sometimes whipping up some mac and cheese satisfies in the short term, but sometimes even that proves to be too much effort.

All this is to say I do the best I can and sometimes I have the capacity to play, and sometimes I don't. When my efforts are rewarded, I try harder. When my efforts are largely ignored or worse, criticized and retaliated against, I stop trying.

On a happy note, my cock stroking worked it's magic last night and I was rewarded with some very nice kisses.

And if that wasn't enough TMI, here's some more:

1. Which traits from your parents do you see in yourself?

Too many of them for me too. My mother's spendthrift ways, her lack of looking at the future, her focus on instant gratification, her awful mood swings, her short fuse, her problem with impulse control. I see all of these horrible traits in me. I try hard every day to recognize and address them, but fail more often than not.

2. Which traits from you/your partner do you see in your children (if you don't have kids, which would you like to see)?

I was just saying that she is the perfect combination of the two of us. She has DH's quiet introspection, his ability to look at a problem from all angles to find the solution, and his easy going nature. It is rare, if ever, that she gets mad, and when she does it is quickly resolved. She has his beautiful hair and eyes. I think she gets from me a healthy dose of empathy, a strong conviction to community service, and a persistent optimism.

3. How did you get the birds-and-bees talk?

I don't recall ever talking to my mother about the birds and bees. Our school district did require several sex ed classes, which is where I got most of my information.

4. What was your favorite childhood book?

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. It still is one of my favorites, and I have given it to our daughter so that she knows that sometimes we have days like that. Even in Australia.

5. What is your favorite piece of erotic literature?

I have read several erotic books, ranging from XXX to R. I would have to say the most I have recalled being turned on by what I was reading was the Mayfair Witches series by Ann Rice. She also wrote a book under a psuedonym (which I can't remember at the moment) called Belinda and I remember the first time I read it I thought it was HOT. But the second time I didn't.

Bonus: What is the one thing you wish you could go back and tell yourself as a child?

Just be yourself. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks about you. It's what you think of yourself that matters. AND to just let it go. I spent so much of my youth holding onto grudges and hate. Arguing and fighting the same fights over and over. I am trying to teach my daughter that it isn't worth it. And letting someone else's actions ruin your day, week, month, or moment is just NOT worth it!

Double Bonus: If your life were a book or movie, what would the title be?

I would want it to be "Wicked" but it would probably turn out to be more like "Under the Radar."

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