A Concern About Jealousy

As Dee ponders thoughts of sexual exploration with others, I wondered at my motivations – why would I be interested in interacting with others (especially another woman)? – and tumbled upon a new worry… but to explain that, I must first enumerate my motivations, and how I came to them:

It is important to note there is a minor dispute between our two preferences – Dee prefers the involvement of another couple, while I prefer a single female. Because of this, I examined a number of reasons I might desire sex with another woman, or another couple, asking one question… what do I want, and why do I want it?

The obvious reason to prefer a couple would be to swap, or to observe, and while I am definitely open to either (or both), neither feels on-point with my ultimate interests. The group action (a foursome) is in this same category. This leaves only the various threesome combinations (though in a couples scenario there’d always be a ‘fourth wheel’) to draw greater interest: I find I prefer the three over the group (with myself participating, rather than playing the wheel), and, unless the guy is exactly what I’d want a guy to be, I prefer a female over a male.

Even more interesting, when considering a swap (ultimately, having one-on-one interaction with another female), my first inclination is to say ‘if I am going be with one woman, I’d prefer it were Dee.’ In realizing this, I discovered that having the freedom to fuck another woman isn’t an urge I’m seeking to address. It’d be fun, but isn’t a reason I would chose to interact with others.

I now understand my motivations to be threefold: First, to witness Dee’s explorations with another woman (which Dee has expressed a serious desire in). Second (and FAR more erotic for me), I am turned on by the idea of a shared experience… that is, sharing a partner with Dee. And, third, the selfish male motivation… I’m a guy, and I would like to experience a threesome, one where I’m outnumbered two to one. There is a fourth possibility that sneaks up on me sometimes: every so often, when imagining the possibilities, I find a surging thrill in the thought of Dee watching me with another woman -- but this last isn't dominant motivation, while the others are more so.

Having analyzed my motivations, it occurred to me to wonder about Dee’s, and how a couple better fulfills her interests – and herein lies the worry. I could be way off in my surmising here, but (based on what she’s told me) I don’t believe Dee has a burning interest in group interactions (a foursome), and I don’t think she has enthusiastic interest in fucking other guys (as in a swap). I believe, ultimately, what she wants most is merely to experiment with another woman, but she says she prefers a couple, so the question remains… why a couple?

In trying to look at things from Dee’s point of view, I can’t help but wonder: is it possible her preference is based on a latent worry of her own? Does she want another man in the mix ONLY to ensure I won’t be tempted by thoughts of deserting her in favor of some other woman? (This, as opposed to wanting another guy there for her own entertainments... or ours!)

This, of course, would be a concern because it demonstrates a level of distrust and jealousy that is completely incompatible with this kind of sexual experimentation. If Dee merely wants to try girl-on-girl for the experience (and is merely talking about including me in the experience for the sake of good form), then my thought is: find a friend and have at it without worrying about my inclusion. Otherwise, it might be wise to at least examine this concern, and put it to rest before we embark on an adventure of this sort.

Regardless, I’m open to considering just about all possibilities. I may hesitate. I may need convincing. I may need coercion. I may need a drink (or three) beforehand. But these are merely byproducts of my lifelong inertia, and not indications of doubt or a lack of interest or desire.