Jealousy

This seems to be a hot topic for me. Silly me, I thought it was obvious why I wanted to experiment with a couple rather than a single person. If a single girl is introduced into our marriage, either for me or him, I will always feel inferior. Just because she is new and unknown.

If a single guy is introduced into our marriage, I would constantly worry about crossing the line and developing any kind of feelings. Pure sex is all I want. And I imagine that having a couple, with the infinite positions, scenarios, and possibilities is just way more fun and less complicated than a single person.

As I said, I've been following a few couples who have had fun playing with each other, and the ones that have made me squirm in my seat (and not in the good way) are the ones where the one half of the couples (MF) can't wait to get their hands on each other, and the other half just kind of go along for the ride. When I try to put myself in their shoes, I feel left out, cast aside, tolerated. As in they want to fuck and I'm being given her husband as a way to keep me occupied.

The couples who make me squirm in my seat (in the good way) are the ones who go into the experience together, and spend a good amount of time together while in the midst. The experiences where all four spend the majority of time in bed together. Girls exploring girls while their husbands watch. Girls sucking strange dick, while getting fucked by their husband. Girls getting fucked by a strange dick while sucking on their husband's cock. I suppose I see that there is inevitably a 4th wheel, but I don't think that's a bad thing. See, just thinking about this scenario makes me wish I had my lipstick vibrator in my purse (darn thing is never around when you need it).

I guess every experience is what you make of it. And also, as long as no one is so invested in the experience that when their partner says stop, it's not too hard to stop.

What I find disappointing is how long it takes me to jump into something. Granted, I am in the middle of a suburban life, with work, school, kids, community service organizations, housework, visiting relatives, etc. But I have let several opportunities at building experiences slip through my fingers. Several date nights I have settled for pizza (and these are my responsibility to plan). And while I have been actively looking online for a playmate, they are not easy to come by!