The evolution of our communication began with a simple game of back-and-forth emailed questions starting with basic and simple choices (Lights on… or off?) and expanding outward into more and more in depth, detailed, and challenging queries. From there, it segued into the “Dare Game,” and among the various dares I gave Dee were those that led to the establishment of the formal rules that govern our relationship, and this blog.
When it comes to our rules, both Dee and I (especially myself) have been a bit lax lately – not about adhering to them (which isn’t actually that difficult), but about living at the outer limits of what they allow, or actively pursuing the obligations set forth in them. For example, the rules state that we must have sex somewhere in our house other than our bedroom on a regular basis. The original purpose of this was to spur us on to creatively pursue novel locations – a sexual conquest of sorts. For these past few weeks in particular, however, we have barely acknowledged that this rule exists. This doesn’t mean our sexual encounters have been restricted to our bedroom – I enjoyed teasing Dee as we cuddled on the sofa watching the football games just this past weekend… interactions that eventually ended with Dee bending over the arm of the couch – but these out-of-bed encounters aren’t in response to the rules, and on more than one occasion, when feeling amorous at the end of the evening, I’ve taken Dee’s hand and ushered her upstairs, when these rules were meant to urge me to lead her into different, more creative environs.
As we move into (and through) the holidays, I’m already looking forward to renewing my commitment to better utilizing these rules, including the reinstatement of the Dare Game (the rules say I’m in charge of that), as the new year begins – a kind of pseudo New Year’s resolution.
Why wait until the new year, rather than getting started right away?
First, I’m a big believer in watershed starting points – and I think most people are just like me. People don’t start diets, or exercise plans, or quitting smoking, or whatever, on Thursday March 9th, unless it’s their birthday. We all tend to start things on Mondays, or the first day of a month, or the first day of the year. I’m one of those people. I can’t help it.
Secondly… we’re just busy right now. There’s a lot going on. And adding dares and rules and sexual conquests into the equation would… well, it’d be fun, but it would also be somewhat calendar crowding. So I’d rather wait until after the holidays, and between now and then just let things be as they are, with nature regularly taking it’s course.
Mostly, however, it’s because I’ve been devoting the bulk of my focus towards the creation of Dee’s Christmas present… which is an extension of the birthday present I gave her last month (translation: she knows it’s coming, and I’m not ruining any surprises here…), and I’d like to keep my focus on that for the time being.
Over the course of this communication evolution, I spent time online gathering ideas from every source I could find – ideas for dares, for questions, and for possible future games. These questions run the gamut from those simple, basic choices, to very challenging essay questions, to multiple choice responses, to things that begin “Rank the following in order, from your favorite, to least favorite…” and “On a scale from one to ten…”
Her birthday present (such as it was) was in direct response to both here interests: I spent the last several months organizing, compiling, and making neat all those questions I’d collected over the previous year, and with them I constructed two book-sized documents. The first is filled with the innocent questions (What is your favorite color? Describe your favorite vacation you took as a child, etc.), aptly titled “All About Mom.” When answered (by her), Dee will be able to share this collection of literally HUNDREDS of questions with our daughter in a way that will share her mother’s life history with her. The second document, a compilation of all the adult-oriented questions I found, Dee is free to use in any way she wishes (respond to them, use them in this blog, generate ideas through them, whatever!).
For Dee's Christmas gift, I have promised to give her my full and complete answers to both of these – both my own “All About Dad” volume (for both mom and daughter), and all my answers to the adult questions (for mom), as well. It’s taking me a lot of time to get this completed(there are something like fifteen hundred questions between the two – call it a long, and very entertaining, sexual SAT test... or one GIGANTIC TMI Tuesday), but I’m nearly done. Interestingly, I’ve learned a few things about myself as I’ve answered these, and I’ve discovered a lot of things that I’ve never shared with Dee, which I know she’ll find interesting and informative. I’m looking forward to giving it to her, and she is already looking forward to reading it!
And so it is that, for the time being, I’m content to leave things as they are, and devote my focus to this specific task. But I’m still looking forward to the renewed commitments of a new year, and whatever experiences that might bring.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Friday, November 21, 2008
Busy Week
It has been a few days since our last post (well… MINE, at least!). The holiday season is always especially hectic for us, from Dee’s birthday (shortly before Halloween) right on through New Years – there’s all the major holidays, three birthdays in our family (and those of several friends), an anniversary, plus all the parties, school functions, work-related crap, and the rest of daily life. I’ve been so worn out lately that the past two nights I’ve opted for cuddling instead of sex… and Dee hasn’t lodged a complaint about the lack of entertainment.
That alone tells the tale. :)
I’ve been trying to entice Dee to pick up the slack and post something here, but she’s told me it’s a good thing she hasn’t, since she feels the greatest urges to post when she’s completely pissed off at me. Having gotten that information, I have to agree with her… and if that’s the case, here’s hoping she never posts again!
I’ve also been going back to the earlier picture posts, and I’ve started thinking that I might have to try and convince her to agree to us taking and posting a few more pictures. It was a bit of a turn on taking them (for both of us), a bit of a turn on reading the comments about them, and most of all, it’s nice just being able to access our blog and see Dee naked whenever I want… right here at my desk. It makes the day a little happier.
That alone tells the tale. :)
I’ve been trying to entice Dee to pick up the slack and post something here, but she’s told me it’s a good thing she hasn’t, since she feels the greatest urges to post when she’s completely pissed off at me. Having gotten that information, I have to agree with her… and if that’s the case, here’s hoping she never posts again!
I’ve also been going back to the earlier picture posts, and I’ve started thinking that I might have to try and convince her to agree to us taking and posting a few more pictures. It was a bit of a turn on taking them (for both of us), a bit of a turn on reading the comments about them, and most of all, it’s nice just being able to access our blog and see Dee naked whenever I want… right here at my desk. It makes the day a little happier.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Modern Technology
It’s been a while since our last posts, but that’s mostly because there’s nothing new to report, really. We had a couple parties over the weekend, but one was a birthday for a 9-year-old girl (ours), and one was for a 40-year-old girl (not ours). The former was fun, but overly loud. The latter was fun, overly loud, and adults only, but wasn't exaclty sexual. I caressed Dee’s tits once (over the shirt, even!), and five liquored up women and two drunk guys all gasped and got offended, which tells you the kind of crowd we were dealing with there.
I’m thinking about getting more into this whole technology thing. I’m familiar with computers, of course, and can handle the simple things with ease, but I have never really embraced technology, and I rarely use it unless I have to (when I’m at work, for example). Posting to this blog is about the height of my technology interfacing.
Personally, I don’t get how Dee does it. After a day at work staring at a computer screen, the last thing I want to do when I get home is pull out my computer and go electronic some more. Just the thought of it makes my eyes burn. But that’s exactly what Dee does most days. After a day at work reading pages of material, trying to learn enough about not just the two sides of a specific argument or dispute, and immersing myself in the underlying information required to evaluate those arguments, the last thing I want to do is go home and spend more time researching and learning more. But that’s exactly what Dee does!
Dee is always online seeking out better ways to give me head, or new positions to try, or better ways to use a vibrator (not to mention all the blogs she keeps up on!), and she’s always bugging me to do the same… for my benefit as well as hers. And the thing is, I’m not against the idea in any way. I’d love to. But even though the subject of sex would certainly keep my attention, what I just typed remains true: After devoting an entire day to not just understanding why Party A thinks it’s Party B’s fault a 3000 square foot atrium skylight is leaking (and why Party B says it’s Party A’s fault), but learning how skylights are designed and built and how the concept of controlled leakage and proper water flow and control is critical to that design… my brain is fried. I have no motivation or desire to go home and spend another hour or two focusing on anything at all – even the topic of sex. And I absolutely CAN’T do that kind of thing at work!
Still, I have decided that in the coming months I will make an effort to get up to speed on the use of modern technology. Maybe by embracing it, and trying to get myself into that particular game, I’ll gain a better understanding of what Dee sees in it, what she gets from it, and a obtain a better understanding of where she’s coming from in some of the things she says and does.
I’m thinking about getting more into this whole technology thing. I’m familiar with computers, of course, and can handle the simple things with ease, but I have never really embraced technology, and I rarely use it unless I have to (when I’m at work, for example). Posting to this blog is about the height of my technology interfacing.
Personally, I don’t get how Dee does it. After a day at work staring at a computer screen, the last thing I want to do when I get home is pull out my computer and go electronic some more. Just the thought of it makes my eyes burn. But that’s exactly what Dee does most days. After a day at work reading pages of material, trying to learn enough about not just the two sides of a specific argument or dispute, and immersing myself in the underlying information required to evaluate those arguments, the last thing I want to do is go home and spend more time researching and learning more. But that’s exactly what Dee does!
Dee is always online seeking out better ways to give me head, or new positions to try, or better ways to use a vibrator (not to mention all the blogs she keeps up on!), and she’s always bugging me to do the same… for my benefit as well as hers. And the thing is, I’m not against the idea in any way. I’d love to. But even though the subject of sex would certainly keep my attention, what I just typed remains true: After devoting an entire day to not just understanding why Party A thinks it’s Party B’s fault a 3000 square foot atrium skylight is leaking (and why Party B says it’s Party A’s fault), but learning how skylights are designed and built and how the concept of controlled leakage and proper water flow and control is critical to that design… my brain is fried. I have no motivation or desire to go home and spend another hour or two focusing on anything at all – even the topic of sex. And I absolutely CAN’T do that kind of thing at work!
Still, I have decided that in the coming months I will make an effort to get up to speed on the use of modern technology. Maybe by embracing it, and trying to get myself into that particular game, I’ll gain a better understanding of what Dee sees in it, what she gets from it, and a obtain a better understanding of where she’s coming from in some of the things she says and does.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
The Future
Who knows! For now, I am glad we had the experience. We have a free night if we should wish to go back, so that's good. I learned even more about myself and it gave us something to talk about.
Overall Impression
I did truly enjoy myself. I surprised myself at my level of comfort being in that situation. I was naked in front of 20 people and I didn't mind it one bit. I can see myself pushing my boundaries and pretty quickly. I could see myself really enjoying myself. However, I think that place is about sex. Just orgasms...pressure on clits. Strokes to produce come. It is not about seduction, for sure. Or intimacy. Or eroticism. I like racing pulses and butterflies in the stomach. I like build up and seduction and touching.
Though it bears mentioning that I think if we were with different people, that perhaps the seduction and erotism would be there.
Though it bears mentioning that I think if we were with different people, that perhaps the seduction and erotism would be there.
Going Home
We got into the brighly lit locker room where I pulled on jeans, and a tank top and shoved my feet into the Crocs I had brought. I practically ran downstairs and into the lobby to get our last bottle of wine. DH hollared that he was getting our cell phones. The girls behind the counter were the girls we had eaten dinner with and they were alarmed to see us leaving so early. I told them everything was fine and we were just done and that I hoped to meet them again sometime. We flew out to the car and DH drove me home.
Typically, when one or the other of us is angry, the other will fume and it may last for days. I have been trying harder, as I get older, to let things go. I started thinking of what I had hoped this evening would turn out like. I heard the owner's words ringing in my ears that if you have an agenda, it probably wouldn't happen. I replayed the dancing with DH and how enjoyable it was. DH asked me if I had an agenda for the evening and I answered yes. He asked if it happened and I answered no. And I felt my anger drain away. I had a couple of agendas going into the evening. I really hoped to have an experience with a woman. I basically had a sure thing. My friend was willing, we were there, it was all set. But it didn't happen. I really hoped to have a threesome with my husband and another girl. Out of all the places, this is where it could happen. But it didn't happen. But ultimately, I wanted DH to enjoy himself. I wanted him to feel comfortable. I wanted to feel comfortable myself. And he did. And I did. We got home and kissed and made love. And I was again reminded of how very lucky I am that I have such a supportive, loving and sexy man. I felt a deeper connection with him that night. And that was the agenda.
Typically, when one or the other of us is angry, the other will fume and it may last for days. I have been trying harder, as I get older, to let things go. I started thinking of what I had hoped this evening would turn out like. I heard the owner's words ringing in my ears that if you have an agenda, it probably wouldn't happen. I replayed the dancing with DH and how enjoyable it was. DH asked me if I had an agenda for the evening and I answered yes. He asked if it happened and I answered no. And I felt my anger drain away. I had a couple of agendas going into the evening. I really hoped to have an experience with a woman. I basically had a sure thing. My friend was willing, we were there, it was all set. But it didn't happen. I really hoped to have a threesome with my husband and another girl. Out of all the places, this is where it could happen. But it didn't happen. But ultimately, I wanted DH to enjoy himself. I wanted him to feel comfortable. I wanted to feel comfortable myself. And he did. And I did. We got home and kissed and made love. And I was again reminded of how very lucky I am that I have such a supportive, loving and sexy man. I felt a deeper connection with him that night. And that was the agenda.
Alone But Not
Before we were out of the room, the newcomer's screams started. Oh oh oh, oh my god, oh oh fuck yes. An ongoing litany. She had been having sex with her husband already, so maybe she was already primed. Or maybe I am unique in that I need a build up. But she was going on and on and on. We were separated by merely a curtain. I could hear her saying she was in heaven and that it felt so fucking good. I just kept thinking that's my orgasm she's having!!
I was on DH's lap and trying to tune her out. I was kissing him and expected that he would be aroused and ready to have sex with me. But as I reached around to feel him, he was not. DH gets aroused when I walk out of the bathroom to come to bed. If I am naked, he's aroused. I was completely surprised to find him not hard at all. I moved back and sucked his cock, trying to get him turned on. I thought here we are, we must have sex! The sounds from the other room were arousing to me, I couldn't understand why it wasn't to him. I got him hard by sucking his dick and I climbed on. After a minute or two, it was obvious he was not into me and didn't want to be doing this.
I climbed off and asked him what was wrong. He insisted that the ongoing screams from the other room were just too distracting. I could now hear Jane joining in the moans and I got really pissed. That was the experience I wanted and I was not getting. We sat there for a few minutes, kind of arguing, listening to the sounds from the other room. He knew that the experience was not living up to what I wanted it to be. So when I said let's just go, he was arguing a little. I finally threw his sweatpants at him, grabbed my sarong and Hitachi and said let's go. I climbed out of the cubby and stood in the door of the playroom. I could see Jane and the newcomer in a scissor position. I felt DH behind me so I turned on my heel and stomped to the locker room, passing couples in a variety of positions.
I was on DH's lap and trying to tune her out. I was kissing him and expected that he would be aroused and ready to have sex with me. But as I reached around to feel him, he was not. DH gets aroused when I walk out of the bathroom to come to bed. If I am naked, he's aroused. I was completely surprised to find him not hard at all. I moved back and sucked his cock, trying to get him turned on. I thought here we are, we must have sex! The sounds from the other room were arousing to me, I couldn't understand why it wasn't to him. I got him hard by sucking his dick and I climbed on. After a minute or two, it was obvious he was not into me and didn't want to be doing this.
I climbed off and asked him what was wrong. He insisted that the ongoing screams from the other room were just too distracting. I could now hear Jane joining in the moans and I got really pissed. That was the experience I wanted and I was not getting. We sat there for a few minutes, kind of arguing, listening to the sounds from the other room. He knew that the experience was not living up to what I wanted it to be. So when I said let's just go, he was arguing a little. I finally threw his sweatpants at him, grabbed my sarong and Hitachi and said let's go. I climbed out of the cubby and stood in the door of the playroom. I could see Jane and the newcomer in a scissor position. I felt DH behind me so I turned on my heel and stomped to the locker room, passing couples in a variety of positions.
Hitachi demonstration
Her and I went back to the table and announced we were going up. The guys followed and we met back at our dinner table inside, where our bag of clothing was stored. I was standing with DH and he was behind me when Jane came up and hugged me and asked me if I was ready to go up. We had a few moments of the three of us hugging and then we went upstairs.
We went into the brightly lit locker room and found a cubbie to stash our bag. I gave DH the sweatpants that I had brought for him, quickly undressed and wrapped my sarong around me. We waited in the hall for Jane and John. Considering how little she was wearing, it certainly took her a while to get ready. When they emerged, we followed them down the hall, looking for an open play room. I was surprised by how many people were surrounding us. I expected we would find a room, grab a corner, and everyone else would fall by the wayside. So when we found a playroom, I was really surprised when all the couples filed in and sat along the walls.
The newcomer was excited and stepped up to volunteer, but Jane reminded John that I was first. He patted the towel he had laid down and told me to lay down and relax. I hestitated, looking around. This was really not what I was expected. But the next thing I knew, DH had ripped the sarong from around me and told me to just lay down. I didn't want to cause a scene, so I sheepishly laid down. I looked around and noticed DH taking a seat on the farthest wall and I motioned him over next to me. I tried to hold his hand, but he just patted me and didn't hang on. Having everyone stare at me was so disconcerting, I covered my face with my hands. John handed me a eye mask that I gratefully took. With that, I could try to block out everyone.
I could hear him turn the Hitachi on and he used it along my thighs and my stomach at its lowest setting. It felt very good and I was anticipating what it would feel like on my pussy. After a second or two, he placed it gently against the outer lips of my pussy, not much pressure. Heaven. I sighed and felt my legs relax and open a bit. He moved the vibrator up a bit so it was more or less directly over my clit, which I found uncomfortable. I shifted a little and it was better. I wanted a connection with DH, so I reached over and grabbed what I could, settling with his forearm. John was telling me he couldn't hear me and the only way he would know what I was feeling was for me to tell him. I heard a woman say that based on the arch of my back, I was enjoying it. But I was concentrating on DH. I could feel the icyness.
I felt the woman lean over me and suck on my nipple, telling DH to suck on my other one. I don't remember what he said, but it was basically no. He didn't want any part of this. I heard John ask DH if I ever had Gspot orgasms and DH said he doesn't know what I have. And he was pissed. That's when I knew I had to get him out of the room. John was pushing harder with the Hitachi and I was squirming to redirect the pressure. He mistook the squirming for pleasure and turned the Hitachi to the high setting and really pushed hard. It hurt so much, that I had to flip my leg over so I could reach the head of the Hitachi and push it off. John still mistook this as pleasure and told me to ride out the discomfort and that I would orgasm.
I finally managed to get out the safe word and John immediately stepped back. I don't ever remember moving as fast, but I was on DH's lap before I knew it. I was whispering to him that I wanted to be alone with him, let's go. I heard John tell DH that now I was ready for him. The newcome had already taken my spot. I grabbed my sarong and DH and headed for the door. I was worried all the private cubbies were taken so I was surprised when I found one right outside the playroom. I ducked in and pulled DH with me.
We went into the brightly lit locker room and found a cubbie to stash our bag. I gave DH the sweatpants that I had brought for him, quickly undressed and wrapped my sarong around me. We waited in the hall for Jane and John. Considering how little she was wearing, it certainly took her a while to get ready. When they emerged, we followed them down the hall, looking for an open play room. I was surprised by how many people were surrounding us. I expected we would find a room, grab a corner, and everyone else would fall by the wayside. So when we found a playroom, I was really surprised when all the couples filed in and sat along the walls.
The newcomer was excited and stepped up to volunteer, but Jane reminded John that I was first. He patted the towel he had laid down and told me to lay down and relax. I hestitated, looking around. This was really not what I was expected. But the next thing I knew, DH had ripped the sarong from around me and told me to just lay down. I didn't want to cause a scene, so I sheepishly laid down. I looked around and noticed DH taking a seat on the farthest wall and I motioned him over next to me. I tried to hold his hand, but he just patted me and didn't hang on. Having everyone stare at me was so disconcerting, I covered my face with my hands. John handed me a eye mask that I gratefully took. With that, I could try to block out everyone.
I could hear him turn the Hitachi on and he used it along my thighs and my stomach at its lowest setting. It felt very good and I was anticipating what it would feel like on my pussy. After a second or two, he placed it gently against the outer lips of my pussy, not much pressure. Heaven. I sighed and felt my legs relax and open a bit. He moved the vibrator up a bit so it was more or less directly over my clit, which I found uncomfortable. I shifted a little and it was better. I wanted a connection with DH, so I reached over and grabbed what I could, settling with his forearm. John was telling me he couldn't hear me and the only way he would know what I was feeling was for me to tell him. I heard a woman say that based on the arch of my back, I was enjoying it. But I was concentrating on DH. I could feel the icyness.
I felt the woman lean over me and suck on my nipple, telling DH to suck on my other one. I don't remember what he said, but it was basically no. He didn't want any part of this. I heard John ask DH if I ever had Gspot orgasms and DH said he doesn't know what I have. And he was pissed. That's when I knew I had to get him out of the room. John was pushing harder with the Hitachi and I was squirming to redirect the pressure. He mistook the squirming for pleasure and turned the Hitachi to the high setting and really pushed hard. It hurt so much, that I had to flip my leg over so I could reach the head of the Hitachi and push it off. John still mistook this as pleasure and told me to ride out the discomfort and that I would orgasm.
I finally managed to get out the safe word and John immediately stepped back. I don't ever remember moving as fast, but I was on DH's lap before I knew it. I was whispering to him that I wanted to be alone with him, let's go. I heard John tell DH that now I was ready for him. The newcome had already taken my spot. I grabbed my sarong and DH and headed for the door. I was worried all the private cubbies were taken so I was surprised when I found one right outside the playroom. I ducked in and pulled DH with me.
Hitachi Conversation
I bought my first vibrator at a Passion Party that I held at my house. It is poorly made, the batteries fall out, and it was incredibly overpriced. It's a rabbit and while it gets me off, I have been in search of a better model. I've purchased several bullet vibrators, as well as a lipstick vibrator and a remote controlled egg. But in my research, the standard of comparison has always been the Hitachi. As in, it's a good vibrator, but it's not a Hitachi. I even pointed it out to DH once or twice while we were in an adult store looking for handcuffs.
All our toys are fun to use, but we don't incorporate them in our sexual activities very often. I primarily bought them for alone time anyway, but since having a child and being active in her life, I don't get a whole lot of alone time. Ok, none. DH has been...willing to use toys, but has not been enthusiastic about it. At all. In fact, I often get the eyeroll when I talk about using a toy at all. I have explained that a vibrator can do things to a clit that a human cannot in terms of pressure, consistent vibration, pitch. But it doesn't get through. To him, it is something being used in place of him.
So when Jane showed me the line of lingerie she was selling, I was delighted to see a flier advertising the Hitachi at the lowest price I've ever seen! I immediately told DH that I wanted to order one from her and he immediately said no way, I have plenty of toys I never use. So it was an even bigger eyeroll when I told him I ordered one anyway, to support my friend in her new business. And I had wanted one for a long time and this was a great price. And talking to Jane, she was telling me that a favorite position was the Hitachi sandwich, with one girl on the bottom, and one girl on the top, and a Hitachi in between. Oh boy, I was sold! In fact, I was dripping wet just thinking about it. And she assured me she would personally demonstrate the Hitachi sandwich with me, as well as other positions. Woohoo! But explaining this to DH was not easy, and he was none to happy about yet another "substitution" joining our household.
I told Jane about DH's reluctance with machinery, and she said she knew a lot of guys with this issue and that John could usually explain to guys why the Hitachi is so nice. So while we were out having that final smoke, the conversation turned to the Hitachi. All of the women that were sitting with us, except for me and another newcomer, had been on the receiving end of John and his Hitachi. And they all swore it was a fantastic orgasmic treat. This newcomer had not purchased hers yet, but was expressing a desire for the demonstration. The excitement kept mounting as the ladies expressed excitement and testimonials. The newcomer was willing to be the demonstrator for the evening and wanted to get started. I could feel DH's increasing chilliness and I assumed this was the end of our night. I caught Jane's eye and she could sense my disappointment. She pulled me off to the side and asked me if everything was ok. I told her I thought DH was done and ready to go home. She said we just need to get him upstairs and he would be fine. I thought that was a good plan!
All our toys are fun to use, but we don't incorporate them in our sexual activities very often. I primarily bought them for alone time anyway, but since having a child and being active in her life, I don't get a whole lot of alone time. Ok, none. DH has been...willing to use toys, but has not been enthusiastic about it. At all. In fact, I often get the eyeroll when I talk about using a toy at all. I have explained that a vibrator can do things to a clit that a human cannot in terms of pressure, consistent vibration, pitch. But it doesn't get through. To him, it is something being used in place of him.
So when Jane showed me the line of lingerie she was selling, I was delighted to see a flier advertising the Hitachi at the lowest price I've ever seen! I immediately told DH that I wanted to order one from her and he immediately said no way, I have plenty of toys I never use. So it was an even bigger eyeroll when I told him I ordered one anyway, to support my friend in her new business. And I had wanted one for a long time and this was a great price. And talking to Jane, she was telling me that a favorite position was the Hitachi sandwich, with one girl on the bottom, and one girl on the top, and a Hitachi in between. Oh boy, I was sold! In fact, I was dripping wet just thinking about it. And she assured me she would personally demonstrate the Hitachi sandwich with me, as well as other positions. Woohoo! But explaining this to DH was not easy, and he was none to happy about yet another "substitution" joining our household.
I told Jane about DH's reluctance with machinery, and she said she knew a lot of guys with this issue and that John could usually explain to guys why the Hitachi is so nice. So while we were out having that final smoke, the conversation turned to the Hitachi. All of the women that were sitting with us, except for me and another newcomer, had been on the receiving end of John and his Hitachi. And they all swore it was a fantastic orgasmic treat. This newcomer had not purchased hers yet, but was expressing a desire for the demonstration. The excitement kept mounting as the ladies expressed excitement and testimonials. The newcomer was willing to be the demonstrator for the evening and wanted to get started. I could feel DH's increasing chilliness and I assumed this was the end of our night. I caught Jane's eye and she could sense my disappointment. She pulled me off to the side and asked me if everything was ok. I told her I thought DH was done and ready to go home. She said we just need to get him upstairs and he would be fine. I thought that was a good plan!
Dancing
We got to our table and looked around. There were only a couple of people on the dance floor. And Jane, John and the rest of the crowd we were sitting with had disappeared. Now what? We were standing and swaying a bit to the music, wondering do we go upstairs alone? Do we hang out at the table? Apparently, DH liked the way I was moving against him, because he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. Quite honestly, this was one of the best moments of the night. I rarely wear heels and I was wearing some of the highest heels I ever have. I am much shorter than DH, but with my heels on, I was dancing height! I could feel his arousal against me so made a point of rubbing on him a bit. The music changed to a faster beat and I tried my darndest to turn him on. During orientation, the jolly man mentioned that alcohol could not be taken upstairs because state law dictated that alcohol could not be in a place where nudity was expected. But alcohol could be consumed downstairs because any nudity that occurred there was accidental. So I was teasing DH that I might accidentally get nude and dropped the strap of my dress and bra. He pulled me close and lifted my dress to reveal my bare ass. I couldn't believe how comfortable I felt exposing myself on the dance floor. I had an overwhelming desire to lift my dress off entirely, but Jane and John came back at that moment. They were going out for another cigarette before going upstairs, so we joined them outside.
Birthday wishes
After we were finished eating, an MC appeared and made some announcements. One of which was that everyone who had a birthday should come to the center of the dance floor for birthday wishes. Jane had mentioned this practice to me, and told me that it was a good way to break the ice. However, I wasn't prepared for being the only two people out there (our birthdays are a week apart). So the MC graciously invited to other people to come up so that we weren't the only ones and soon there were three lines formed, in front of everyone but me! During orientation, the owner reminded us that this experience is whatever you make of it. If you sit in the corner and look unapproachable, people will leave you alone! I know this, but it was good to hear. Unfortunately, it's not easy to change our habits. Jane, knowing me and my shy nature, sat on my lap and gave me several kisses before moving on to DH. After her, I welcomed an older gentleman who gave me a really wet kiss, as if he licked his lips just before kissing me. Ick. After that several ladies approached, all older, one with rotten teeth, and I am sure I gave off the vibe that I didn't want to be touched, because they didn't. The welcome was over and DH and I returned to our table and the MC had a young girl draw tickets out of a fish bowl. We both won prizes, one of which was a free weekend party.
The MC made a couple more announcements and then the band took over for dancing. Our group decided to go outside for another cigarette. We had a nice conversation. By this time, I had almost a full bottle of wine, and was pretty toasted. The conversation was good, but I don't remember it being all that erotic or exciting. Everyone decided to go in, and we followed.
The MC made a couple more announcements and then the band took over for dancing. Our group decided to go outside for another cigarette. We had a nice conversation. By this time, I had almost a full bottle of wine, and was pretty toasted. The conversation was good, but I don't remember it being all that erotic or exciting. Everyone decided to go in, and we followed.
Dinner
After paying our entrance fee, we walked into a small hallway where a few couples, with the women in small skimpy outfits, were standing and welcoming us. Whether it was their job or not, I was delighted when one of the women commented on how hot my dress looked. Jane and John had reserved places for us at their table, which they informed us was the best table in the house, besides sitting with the owner. I was surprised to see the jolly man, his woman, and another woman were also sitting at our table, as well as the couple who had complimented my dress. Though far from gourmet, we had a lovely dinner. Jane, John, and the other couples discussed the apparently very late, very naughty, birthday party they attended the night before and DH and I just took it all in. After learning it was our first time there, we were told it was a good night for us to be there because it was a very small crowd. And that we were with the cool people.
Orientation
We arrive at the Club with moments to spare. All guests have to go through an orientation before being allowed to stay for a party, so we have to arrive an hour and a half before the official start. The entrance is not obviously marked, so we wander around a bit and finally see some people who it would appear are at this place for the same reason we are. We stand around the locked front door with two or three other couples. They are all older than us. One starts ribbing his woman and chortling about the lack of sleep he's had this week, between one girl or another. He laughs and says he hopes no one minds if he just falls asleep. The woman in another couple says not unless he's doing someone while he does it. The sleepy guy keeps making cracks about falling asleep while doing someone and I feel entirely out of place. And the thought of what the hell am I doing here starts.
The door finally opens and we are directed to the "orientation table" which is a table set up in front of a dance floor. I take a quick look around and the facility is quite lovely. hardwood floors, twinkle lights. Really lovely. I approach the check in desk, where a very heavy woman is sitting next to a dwarf. She asks our names and checks us off, handing us paperwork to fill out. We sit down at one of the round tables set up for dinner and I notice that the tables and chairs are all of the outdoor resin variety. Plastic chairs and tables. Interesting. Several woman are roaming around, in various "outfits." Most are very small and straight out of the "fredericks of hollywood" catalog, except without the model bodies. Again, I am filled with "what the hell am I doing here." Jane and John are no where to be found, even though they assured me they would go through orientation with us.
I fill out the paperwork while DH uses the restroom. When he comes back, I decide I need to visit the ladies room, and while it is very clean with lots of complimentary items, I note it is very old feeling, like a girl scout lodge. Though it is clean, and smells nice, so nothing to complain about.
As I am walking back to the ballroom area, Jane and John are coming downstairs and call out my name. Jane is wearing a full length fur coat and as she hugs me hello, I note her hair is wet. I get the feeling they've been here a while. I introduce them to DH and Jane takes off her coat, revealing a bikini top and a g string with a little skirt attached, in addition to her 4 inch stiletto acrylic heels. She looks great, but it's still a little disconcerting.
We turn in our paperwork and cell phones as requested (no cell phones allowed outside the lobby due to camera technology) and I go outside to sit with Jane and John as they have a cigarette and DH runs back out to the car for his alcohol of choice. When he returns, we have a nice conversation with Jane and John, and two of their close friends, who encourage us to ask any questions we might have. We finally decide to open a bottle of wine. The Club provides plastic wine glasses and bottle openers, as well as soda, tea and coffee. One sip from our glass and we are being called in to start the orientation.
A jolly looking round man is standing with the heavy woman from the orientation table. He's very soft-spoken and begins to tell us how the Club started 30 years ago as a ladies club, and that is how it remains today. Jane and John are standing with them but not contributing to the conversation. Everyone is invited to go upstairs and look around and the sleepy guy from outside just keeps making dumb comments while everyone else is pretty much silent.
At the top of the stairs is the sleeping room, which I did not see until we were headed back downstairs, but there are some cheap foam cushions stacked in rows. For $5, you can bring a sleeping bag and have a place to sleep in this room. We passed the hot tubs (indoors and outdoors), the communal locker and shower room, and came to a large room with various curtains and many beds, surrounding a pit of cushions (that was just last week a fire pit!) We all sat on a bed as the jolly man continued discussing rules, etiquette, expectations. I was struck at how he explained why the rules were in place rather than just reciting the list of rules. Sleepy man of course had to make more annoying comments.
We all trooped up a final set of stairs. The center of the large circular room was another cushioned pit and various private cubbies were built around the outside. It was really quite interesting the way it was set up. You could have complete privacy if you wanted, be the center of the action, or anywhere in between. We all ended up in the mirror room, which was a couple of beds pushed together under a metal ceiling. This was where the jolly man asked how many were new to the lifestyle. Most of us raised our hands, and the annoying man revealed that this was their first date, blind date in fact, but they had been conversing online for a couple of weeks. This explained a lot.
The jolly man congratulated us though, at the communication that took place to even get us in the front door, and I realized how right he was. Not many are lucky enough to be able to tell their partners their most private fantasies and have them help in broadening the horizons of the relationship. We are lucky indeed.
With that, we all trooped to the owner's quarters for an introduction and speech. Having started the club 30 years ago with his wife, I should not have been surprised to see how old the owner is. But old he is, though he seemed very nice and offered some very good advice. The most important was that this place was for exploration and if you have an agenda of what you wanted to happen, it usually doesn't work out. I, of course, had an agenda and I thought whatever. My agenda will definitely work out.
After that, we all trooped downstairs to dinner, paid our entrance fee, and were free to roam the place at will.
The door finally opens and we are directed to the "orientation table" which is a table set up in front of a dance floor. I take a quick look around and the facility is quite lovely. hardwood floors, twinkle lights. Really lovely. I approach the check in desk, where a very heavy woman is sitting next to a dwarf. She asks our names and checks us off, handing us paperwork to fill out. We sit down at one of the round tables set up for dinner and I notice that the tables and chairs are all of the outdoor resin variety. Plastic chairs and tables. Interesting. Several woman are roaming around, in various "outfits." Most are very small and straight out of the "fredericks of hollywood" catalog, except without the model bodies. Again, I am filled with "what the hell am I doing here." Jane and John are no where to be found, even though they assured me they would go through orientation with us.
I fill out the paperwork while DH uses the restroom. When he comes back, I decide I need to visit the ladies room, and while it is very clean with lots of complimentary items, I note it is very old feeling, like a girl scout lodge. Though it is clean, and smells nice, so nothing to complain about.
As I am walking back to the ballroom area, Jane and John are coming downstairs and call out my name. Jane is wearing a full length fur coat and as she hugs me hello, I note her hair is wet. I get the feeling they've been here a while. I introduce them to DH and Jane takes off her coat, revealing a bikini top and a g string with a little skirt attached, in addition to her 4 inch stiletto acrylic heels. She looks great, but it's still a little disconcerting.
We turn in our paperwork and cell phones as requested (no cell phones allowed outside the lobby due to camera technology) and I go outside to sit with Jane and John as they have a cigarette and DH runs back out to the car for his alcohol of choice. When he returns, we have a nice conversation with Jane and John, and two of their close friends, who encourage us to ask any questions we might have. We finally decide to open a bottle of wine. The Club provides plastic wine glasses and bottle openers, as well as soda, tea and coffee. One sip from our glass and we are being called in to start the orientation.
A jolly looking round man is standing with the heavy woman from the orientation table. He's very soft-spoken and begins to tell us how the Club started 30 years ago as a ladies club, and that is how it remains today. Jane and John are standing with them but not contributing to the conversation. Everyone is invited to go upstairs and look around and the sleepy guy from outside just keeps making dumb comments while everyone else is pretty much silent.
At the top of the stairs is the sleeping room, which I did not see until we were headed back downstairs, but there are some cheap foam cushions stacked in rows. For $5, you can bring a sleeping bag and have a place to sleep in this room. We passed the hot tubs (indoors and outdoors), the communal locker and shower room, and came to a large room with various curtains and many beds, surrounding a pit of cushions (that was just last week a fire pit!) We all sat on a bed as the jolly man continued discussing rules, etiquette, expectations. I was struck at how he explained why the rules were in place rather than just reciting the list of rules. Sleepy man of course had to make more annoying comments.
We all trooped up a final set of stairs. The center of the large circular room was another cushioned pit and various private cubbies were built around the outside. It was really quite interesting the way it was set up. You could have complete privacy if you wanted, be the center of the action, or anywhere in between. We all ended up in the mirror room, which was a couple of beds pushed together under a metal ceiling. This was where the jolly man asked how many were new to the lifestyle. Most of us raised our hands, and the annoying man revealed that this was their first date, blind date in fact, but they had been conversing online for a couple of weeks. This explained a lot.
The jolly man congratulated us though, at the communication that took place to even get us in the front door, and I realized how right he was. Not many are lucky enough to be able to tell their partners their most private fantasies and have them help in broadening the horizons of the relationship. We are lucky indeed.
With that, we all trooped to the owner's quarters for an introduction and speech. Having started the club 30 years ago with his wife, I should not have been surprised to see how old the owner is. But old he is, though he seemed very nice and offered some very good advice. The most important was that this place was for exploration and if you have an agenda of what you wanted to happen, it usually doesn't work out. I, of course, had an agenda and I thought whatever. My agenda will definitely work out.
After that, we all trooped downstairs to dinner, paid our entrance fee, and were free to roam the place at will.
Preparations
A while ago now, I discovered that some people had started blogs to chronicle the trials, tribulations, and sex in their marriages. A lot of people! I started reading about these exploits and one page lead to another and eventually I learned about a place near us where "like-minded" people gather to get acquainted. Also known as a swingers club. I mentioned it to DH, and explored the website, and he was not overly enthusiastic about hearing about it. I mentioned it to a single friend whom I know to be a more a little more adventurous than most. She knew about the place. She hadn't been there herself, but she mentioned that a mutual friend of ours went there. Based on DH's interest level, I put it at the back of my mind as something to think about someday.
Fast forward a year. We had had some amazing sex this year, broke some boundaries, had some wonderful communication, and I am ready to take it to another level. I had lunch with Jane who is now selling lingerie and she asked me to help her set up a website. I declined but she knows I am also a bit more adventurous than most, so she mentions the Club, which apparently she has been frequenting every weekend. We have a few long conversations about how fun it is and what I can expect. We've talked about what my goals are (incorporating another woman), my insecurities and fear of rejections, and expectations about our relationship (will she be offended if I want to go upstairs with her). She assures me that this will be a fun experience, I don't have to worry about being rejected, and that she is open to anything that I am. After we are both comfortable, I arrange for her to host us for date night. I still can't believe I am planning to take my husband to a sex club! Yeah me! I spend a week in anticipation...not just of going to the Club, but getting dressed up and going out with DH for some adult entertainment.
DH and I, of course, have several long discussions about our expectations of where the night will lead, and we decide we will be satisfied with an evening out, having dinner, and learning more about a lifestyle choice that is out there. But we won't rule anything out either. That said, I spend the morning taking extra special care in my personal hygiene routine, packing some "upstairs" clothes, and other possible accoutrements. When it's time to go, I slip into my favorite red dress (with no panties), my new red shoes, throw a couple of bottles of wine into our bag, and we're off!
Fast forward a year. We had had some amazing sex this year, broke some boundaries, had some wonderful communication, and I am ready to take it to another level. I had lunch with Jane who is now selling lingerie and she asked me to help her set up a website. I declined but she knows I am also a bit more adventurous than most, so she mentions the Club, which apparently she has been frequenting every weekend. We have a few long conversations about how fun it is and what I can expect. We've talked about what my goals are (incorporating another woman), my insecurities and fear of rejections, and expectations about our relationship (will she be offended if I want to go upstairs with her). She assures me that this will be a fun experience, I don't have to worry about being rejected, and that she is open to anything that I am. After we are both comfortable, I arrange for her to host us for date night. I still can't believe I am planning to take my husband to a sex club! Yeah me! I spend a week in anticipation...not just of going to the Club, but getting dressed up and going out with DH for some adult entertainment.
DH and I, of course, have several long discussions about our expectations of where the night will lead, and we decide we will be satisfied with an evening out, having dinner, and learning more about a lifestyle choice that is out there. But we won't rule anything out either. That said, I spend the morning taking extra special care in my personal hygiene routine, packing some "upstairs" clothes, and other possible accoutrements. When it's time to go, I slip into my favorite red dress (with no panties), my new red shoes, throw a couple of bottles of wine into our bag, and we're off!
Monday, November 10, 2008
What I Learned, Etc.
One observation, revisiting my last post: I mentioned the sounds coming from the room after we’d left – the screams of supposed pleasure. Honestly, I think most of that was half “faked” – that is voluntary, rather than involuntary. Several of the screamers (in conversations downstairs) took great pleasure in boasting about the amount of noise they make when serving as the subjects of “demonstrations.” There’s a difference between involuntary sounds that erupt in the midst of a moment, and just making noise because you think it’ll make everyone else in the other play areas jealous. I think this was the latter.
Now... What I learned (and etc.) this weekend:
Imagining scenarios in my head, I was pretty sure a group thing wasn’t going to be the biggest turn on for me, but I figured that, in such a moment, I’d wind up getting turned on – how could I help it? There’d be naked bodies and couples playing like live porn. OF COURSE I’d end up getting turned on! But it turns out I’m even less interested than I would have guessed – in reality, I was unaroused, and mildly bored. However, I do admit to this caveat: it might have been the circumstances (which I described), and it’s very possible that in more erotic circumstances I could be easily convinced to join the gathering, so I’m definitely open to another (more appealing) opportunity, if I came upon it.
I was surprised to find I had no anxiety or anticipation. I expected nervousness, or worry, or even just butterflies in my stomach, but I didn’t experience any of these things.
I don’t feel jealous, and don’t view myself as a jealous person, but I was still expecting to experience some twinges of jealousy or possessiveness (or SOMETHING)… but I didn’t – not at ALL… except in one specific case (which I’ll get to in a moment).
Odd as it may sound, I discovered what my biggest issues are (but not how to get over them):
I’ve mentioned in earlier posts that I felt uncomfortable with the idea of even checking out our waitress while we’re dining out. At the club, I felt the same way – I was quite uncomfortable with the idea I could check out the women there – some of whom were wearing nothing at all, even downstairs! By contrast, anytime I was approached, I was perfectly comfortable with anything that happened – I felt perfectly at ease kissing other women, being felt up by them, running my hands over their bodies as they sat on my lap – with Dee sitting right next to me. And so it is I understand myself a little better: even with Dee’s encouragement, my discomfort is with taking the initial action – whether it be starting a conversation, flirting… or simply checking out the hot, naked body put on display by the girl sitting next to me. Knowing I have Dee’s permission (and even encouragement), I am comfortable interacting with another woman… but I need to be approached.
Finally, the jealousy thing I mentioned above: Dee has, on several occasions, teased me (in a not-so-teasing way, if you know what I mean) that I might be jealous about her toys, or feel like I’m competition with them, and I’ve denied (honestly) that this is the case. However, this weekend I discovered – or more accurately was able to put my finger on – the vibe which I might be giving off, and which she’s likely responding to. In this very specific way, I think I AM a little jealous, or possessive, or whatever you’d define it as: I wasn’t jealous at all – not when seeing Dee get kissed by other guys in her own “birthday line,” or (even more significantly) while Dee was serving as the subject of the demonstration, and John was intimately interacting with her pussy as she lay naked, legs spread, for his attentions. HOWEVER, for some reason (I can’t fully explain it), I felt like, if she is going to be playing with toys, then her husband should be the one wielding them (not another guy… and this is gender specific, I don’t think I’d feel the same way if it had been Jane holding the Hitachi). This is the one thing I did react strongly to… the one thing where I thought “hey… that’s MY job!” So I think I might be jealously possessive of this particular thing – I’ve already expressed my strong male-centric bias towards being the only guy in Dee’s life, but even if I make an exception to that… if you’re a guy and I’ve agreed to it, you’re going to have to get Dee off the old fashioned way – no accessories to give yourself a leg up on being impressive.
Now... What I learned (and etc.) this weekend:
Imagining scenarios in my head, I was pretty sure a group thing wasn’t going to be the biggest turn on for me, but I figured that, in such a moment, I’d wind up getting turned on – how could I help it? There’d be naked bodies and couples playing like live porn. OF COURSE I’d end up getting turned on! But it turns out I’m even less interested than I would have guessed – in reality, I was unaroused, and mildly bored. However, I do admit to this caveat: it might have been the circumstances (which I described), and it’s very possible that in more erotic circumstances I could be easily convinced to join the gathering, so I’m definitely open to another (more appealing) opportunity, if I came upon it.
I was surprised to find I had no anxiety or anticipation. I expected nervousness, or worry, or even just butterflies in my stomach, but I didn’t experience any of these things.
I don’t feel jealous, and don’t view myself as a jealous person, but I was still expecting to experience some twinges of jealousy or possessiveness (or SOMETHING)… but I didn’t – not at ALL… except in one specific case (which I’ll get to in a moment).
Odd as it may sound, I discovered what my biggest issues are (but not how to get over them):
I’ve mentioned in earlier posts that I felt uncomfortable with the idea of even checking out our waitress while we’re dining out. At the club, I felt the same way – I was quite uncomfortable with the idea I could check out the women there – some of whom were wearing nothing at all, even downstairs! By contrast, anytime I was approached, I was perfectly comfortable with anything that happened – I felt perfectly at ease kissing other women, being felt up by them, running my hands over their bodies as they sat on my lap – with Dee sitting right next to me. And so it is I understand myself a little better: even with Dee’s encouragement, my discomfort is with taking the initial action – whether it be starting a conversation, flirting… or simply checking out the hot, naked body put on display by the girl sitting next to me. Knowing I have Dee’s permission (and even encouragement), I am comfortable interacting with another woman… but I need to be approached.
Finally, the jealousy thing I mentioned above: Dee has, on several occasions, teased me (in a not-so-teasing way, if you know what I mean) that I might be jealous about her toys, or feel like I’m competition with them, and I’ve denied (honestly) that this is the case. However, this weekend I discovered – or more accurately was able to put my finger on – the vibe which I might be giving off, and which she’s likely responding to. In this very specific way, I think I AM a little jealous, or possessive, or whatever you’d define it as: I wasn’t jealous at all – not when seeing Dee get kissed by other guys in her own “birthday line,” or (even more significantly) while Dee was serving as the subject of the demonstration, and John was intimately interacting with her pussy as she lay naked, legs spread, for his attentions. HOWEVER, for some reason (I can’t fully explain it), I felt like, if she is going to be playing with toys, then her husband should be the one wielding them (not another guy… and this is gender specific, I don’t think I’d feel the same way if it had been Jane holding the Hitachi). This is the one thing I did react strongly to… the one thing where I thought “hey… that’s MY job!” So I think I might be jealously possessive of this particular thing – I’ve already expressed my strong male-centric bias towards being the only guy in Dee’s life, but even if I make an exception to that… if you’re a guy and I’ve agreed to it, you’re going to have to get Dee off the old fashioned way – no accessories to give yourself a leg up on being impressive.
Upstairs
We were upstairs for… maybe an hour, probably less. A group formed and followed John and Jane around as he searched for a free play area until he found an open room. The group paraded in… John, Jane, Dee, myself, six other couples. The other couples arranged themselves in a semi-circle along the wall: boy, girl, boy, girl. Dee and I stood near the entrance. I felt… resigned?
In reality, I don’t think I felt anything. I wasn’t uncomfortable at all, but I didn’t have any sense of anticipation. No trepidation, no anxiety, no thrill, no rush of horniness. Nothing.
“Ok…” John said, opening the bag he had with him and taking out toys, setting them down like a surgeon preparing for a minor procedure. He spread out a towel on the mattress to protect the sheets. “Who wants to go first?”
“Dee’s going first,” Jane reminded him.
“Ok, then… Dee?” he said, patting the towel. “C’mon. Just lay down.”
His tone was entirely businesslike, like a professional who just had a job to do. It lacked any semblance of foreplay. It lacked seduction. It lacked even the most basic hints of eroticism. For me, this was as sexual an experience as accompanying Dee to the OB/GYN (“Ok… lay back… if something hurts or feels uncomfortable, let me know… you ready?”).
Dee lay down on the towel and John gave her a blindfold, which she put on. I sat nearby and felt… as though I’d been mis-cast for the part I was supposed to play. I was supposed to be the husband, and this was supposed to be about our relationship, about connecting as a couple, and here I was… sitting off to the side, twiddling my thumbs.
John began “the demonstration” – talking about techniques and options in a detached, uninvolved way as Dee began to get turned on by the stimulation he provided.
Again… I felt nothing. The best way I can describe it is to say I felt as though I’d entered the room looking forward to an intimate sexual experience with Dee and finding myself in a room full of only strangers… and when I look around, I don't seeing Dee anywhere (this is how I felt, of course, as Dee was right next to me). I felt like I’d wandered into the wrong lecture hall, and, realizing this isn’t where I wanted to be, couldn’t make a graceful, quiet exit.
The couples around me conversed – some talking about Dee’s reactions in a clinical sense (“Based on the arch in her back, I guess she likes that,” “Yeah, John, you may not even need the attachments.”), while others seemed to be as uninterested as I was (“I think they're going to have roast beef sandwiches downstairs later?” “Really? They usually only have ham.”). One couple played lightly together, but even as he licked her, she chatted with a friend in a way that clearly showed he wasn’t too distracting to her. A single woman leaned forward, sucked Dee’s nipple for a second, then retreated.
I was not turned on at all.
Dee picked up on my disinterest (it is amazing that, blindfolded, holding only my hand, in a room full of strangers, while distracted by “the best vibrator on the market,” wielded by a self-professed “expert” in it’s use, Dee perceived my disinterest… it’s a little bit special to be that connected to someone), said the safe word, and called an end to it all.
We left the room, and talked for a while. John found another subject for demonstration, and as we sat in the cubby nearby, a constant series of screams emanated from the room, mixed with the babble and laughter of disjointed conversations among the audience members, making it impossible to talk. It didn’t sound sexual to me – I like the sounds of sex, and they normally SERIOUSLY turn me on, but to me this sounded like ten guys jawing it up at a lively poker game while bad 70’s porn played on the VCR with the volume cranked up.
We decided it would be best if we just went home.
I feel bad for Dee in the sense that I believe if she’d been there alone, she would have enjoyed a fantastic orgasmic experience, and so I ruined that for her. I feel my complete lack of interest held her back, and prevented her from experiencing something she was really wished for.
Still, we talked in the car on the way home, my mood had returned in full, and I took her upstairs and did what I could to make up for it.
[Next: What I Learned!]
In reality, I don’t think I felt anything. I wasn’t uncomfortable at all, but I didn’t have any sense of anticipation. No trepidation, no anxiety, no thrill, no rush of horniness. Nothing.
“Ok…” John said, opening the bag he had with him and taking out toys, setting them down like a surgeon preparing for a minor procedure. He spread out a towel on the mattress to protect the sheets. “Who wants to go first?”
“Dee’s going first,” Jane reminded him.
“Ok, then… Dee?” he said, patting the towel. “C’mon. Just lay down.”
His tone was entirely businesslike, like a professional who just had a job to do. It lacked any semblance of foreplay. It lacked seduction. It lacked even the most basic hints of eroticism. For me, this was as sexual an experience as accompanying Dee to the OB/GYN (“Ok… lay back… if something hurts or feels uncomfortable, let me know… you ready?”).
Dee lay down on the towel and John gave her a blindfold, which she put on. I sat nearby and felt… as though I’d been mis-cast for the part I was supposed to play. I was supposed to be the husband, and this was supposed to be about our relationship, about connecting as a couple, and here I was… sitting off to the side, twiddling my thumbs.
John began “the demonstration” – talking about techniques and options in a detached, uninvolved way as Dee began to get turned on by the stimulation he provided.
Again… I felt nothing. The best way I can describe it is to say I felt as though I’d entered the room looking forward to an intimate sexual experience with Dee and finding myself in a room full of only strangers… and when I look around, I don't seeing Dee anywhere (this is how I felt, of course, as Dee was right next to me). I felt like I’d wandered into the wrong lecture hall, and, realizing this isn’t where I wanted to be, couldn’t make a graceful, quiet exit.
The couples around me conversed – some talking about Dee’s reactions in a clinical sense (“Based on the arch in her back, I guess she likes that,” “Yeah, John, you may not even need the attachments.”), while others seemed to be as uninterested as I was (“I think they're going to have roast beef sandwiches downstairs later?” “Really? They usually only have ham.”). One couple played lightly together, but even as he licked her, she chatted with a friend in a way that clearly showed he wasn’t too distracting to her. A single woman leaned forward, sucked Dee’s nipple for a second, then retreated.
I was not turned on at all.
Dee picked up on my disinterest (it is amazing that, blindfolded, holding only my hand, in a room full of strangers, while distracted by “the best vibrator on the market,” wielded by a self-professed “expert” in it’s use, Dee perceived my disinterest… it’s a little bit special to be that connected to someone), said the safe word, and called an end to it all.
We left the room, and talked for a while. John found another subject for demonstration, and as we sat in the cubby nearby, a constant series of screams emanated from the room, mixed with the babble and laughter of disjointed conversations among the audience members, making it impossible to talk. It didn’t sound sexual to me – I like the sounds of sex, and they normally SERIOUSLY turn me on, but to me this sounded like ten guys jawing it up at a lively poker game while bad 70’s porn played on the VCR with the volume cranked up.
We decided it would be best if we just went home.
I feel bad for Dee in the sense that I believe if she’d been there alone, she would have enjoyed a fantastic orgasmic experience, and so I ruined that for her. I feel my complete lack of interest held her back, and prevented her from experiencing something she was really wished for.
Still, we talked in the car on the way home, my mood had returned in full, and I took her upstairs and did what I could to make up for it.
[Next: What I Learned!]
Downstairs II
I forgot to post a few other things, which I wished to mention:
First, I must stress that, overall, I had a GREAT time. I have to stress this because thus far you might think otherwise (especially in reading the last part of my previous post). However, there is a point to all this – if I can get to it – in that I did discover SEVERAL things about myself, and those things are rooted in these less enjoyable moments… so bear with me here!
Second, I forgot to mention the fun: Prior to dinner, a number of fun things happened that are worth sharing:
First, it was “Scorpio” month – meaning anyone who is a Scorpio (this includes both Dee and I) get put into a drawing for door prizes – and both Dee and I won items! I won a free weekend party for Dee and I (you normally have to pay for dinner, etc.), and Dee won a gift pack with a number of new toys for us to play with!
Second, as per the club ritual, anyone with a recent birthday is brought out on the dance floor, and any member who wishes to do so can come up and wish you happy birthday in any way they see fit. A line formed before me, and I was kissed, fondled, groped, and otherwise awash in good greetings! Dee, I guess, got a number of kisses (she’ll have to give the details, as I was… occupied!).
First, I must stress that, overall, I had a GREAT time. I have to stress this because thus far you might think otherwise (especially in reading the last part of my previous post). However, there is a point to all this – if I can get to it – in that I did discover SEVERAL things about myself, and those things are rooted in these less enjoyable moments… so bear with me here!
Second, I forgot to mention the fun: Prior to dinner, a number of fun things happened that are worth sharing:
First, it was “Scorpio” month – meaning anyone who is a Scorpio (this includes both Dee and I) get put into a drawing for door prizes – and both Dee and I won items! I won a free weekend party for Dee and I (you normally have to pay for dinner, etc.), and Dee won a gift pack with a number of new toys for us to play with!
Second, as per the club ritual, anyone with a recent birthday is brought out on the dance floor, and any member who wishes to do so can come up and wish you happy birthday in any way they see fit. A line formed before me, and I was kissed, fondled, groped, and otherwise awash in good greetings! Dee, I guess, got a number of kisses (she’ll have to give the details, as I was… occupied!).
Downstairs
My posts on this weekend are going to come in several parts, written here at work as my time allows. I’m hoping to share and say everything I want to before the day is out, but we’ll just have to wait and see how that works out. I have a lot on my to-do list here, and it wouldn’t do me much good to go and get myself fired. :)
Saturday night Dee and I checked out our first sex club (or swingers club, or whatever you’d choose to call it). The club we went to has two parts – the downstairs, where it’s about the socializing, and the upstairs, which is about the sex. Downstairs, they have live bands, dancing, dinner, drinks, and conversation. Upstairs, they have play areas. We were hosted by our friends “John” and “Jane” -- they might play a role in future posts, and I may have to come up with better , but for today we’ll just stick with John and Jane Doe.
I’m going to keep my posts and observations to what I personally think (or thought) and feel (or felt). If Dee wishes to post her own thoughts, or offer a different point of view, I’m sure she’ll post her own entry – and I hope she does, just so I can read it!
We spent the first five hours or so downstairs, meeting people, having dinner (and drinks!), talking with John and Jane, and having a wonderful time. Dee even managed to get me tipsy enough to join her on the dance floor – a very rare thing, as I don’t dance at all. Everybody was very easygoing, supportive, and friendly. I felt very comfortable there, and I sensed Dee felt the same way.
I was a bit surprised in the lack of any sexual vibe I felt there, however. I had expected there would be an overriding electricity, a sense of anticipatory foreplay, a feeling of flirtation in every conversation, but there wasn’t. For want of a better description, the sexuality felt academic, almost as though everyone there was approaching the social (downstairs) portion of the evening with the same resigned “Please, God, just get me through this “ that I feel in anticipating another routine workday. I felt like one of the fun parts for me – the flirtation that leads to caresses that turn into massages and become the slow segue into sex – were nothing but monotonous onerous impediments… pro forma requirements that were nothing but red tape and paperwork. Still, up until the last half hour or so, I had nothing short of a wonderful time – far better than I’d actually anticipated.
That last half hour, my enjoyment faded a little, and the underlying arousal I’d held all evening dissipated and disappeared. We went outside with John and Jane and a few others to have one more smoke before heading upstairs to check out the goings on there. There are a number of ways I would describe the conversation that went on there – and all of them are bad.
It should be noted here that John is a supplier of sorts, of the new Hitachi vibrator, and he professes to be an expert in it’s use, and appears to be… a little too proud of it for my taste. Thus, when the conversation turned to the vibrator of choice, the conversation descended into unarousing form. It became part sales pitch (“They’re available at the desk here, far cheaper than you can buy anywhere else!”), part audio instruction book (“If you do this first, and this second, Dee will become much more sensitive to step three, which is…”). It was part pseudo-bullshit infomercial (“Yes, Dee, too, can get off in less than 30 seconds! You’ll never need to waste time with foreplay again!”), and part pressure sell (“In fact, most people have TWO!”). It was even slightly insulting – at one point it was suggested to me that repeated use of this in the proper way would cause Dee to be much more sensitive all the time, and that without that, I couldn’t possibly satisfy her the way a woman should be satisfied… but “With it… Jane thinks I’m a total stud! How can any man NOT want that?”
All this was followed by an offer – come upstairs and see a physical demonstration!
And so it was, I lost most of my good cheer. Still, when Dee volunteered to be the recipient of that demonstration (to my great surprise), I pressed on, hoping my earlier feelings and mood would return.
Saturday night Dee and I checked out our first sex club (or swingers club, or whatever you’d choose to call it). The club we went to has two parts – the downstairs, where it’s about the socializing, and the upstairs, which is about the sex. Downstairs, they have live bands, dancing, dinner, drinks, and conversation. Upstairs, they have play areas. We were hosted by our friends “John” and “Jane” -- they might play a role in future posts, and I may have to come up with better , but for today we’ll just stick with John and Jane Doe.
I’m going to keep my posts and observations to what I personally think (or thought) and feel (or felt). If Dee wishes to post her own thoughts, or offer a different point of view, I’m sure she’ll post her own entry – and I hope she does, just so I can read it!
We spent the first five hours or so downstairs, meeting people, having dinner (and drinks!), talking with John and Jane, and having a wonderful time. Dee even managed to get me tipsy enough to join her on the dance floor – a very rare thing, as I don’t dance at all. Everybody was very easygoing, supportive, and friendly. I felt very comfortable there, and I sensed Dee felt the same way.
I was a bit surprised in the lack of any sexual vibe I felt there, however. I had expected there would be an overriding electricity, a sense of anticipatory foreplay, a feeling of flirtation in every conversation, but there wasn’t. For want of a better description, the sexuality felt academic, almost as though everyone there was approaching the social (downstairs) portion of the evening with the same resigned “Please, God, just get me through this “ that I feel in anticipating another routine workday. I felt like one of the fun parts for me – the flirtation that leads to caresses that turn into massages and become the slow segue into sex – were nothing but monotonous onerous impediments… pro forma requirements that were nothing but red tape and paperwork. Still, up until the last half hour or so, I had nothing short of a wonderful time – far better than I’d actually anticipated.
That last half hour, my enjoyment faded a little, and the underlying arousal I’d held all evening dissipated and disappeared. We went outside with John and Jane and a few others to have one more smoke before heading upstairs to check out the goings on there. There are a number of ways I would describe the conversation that went on there – and all of them are bad.
It should be noted here that John is a supplier of sorts, of the new Hitachi vibrator, and he professes to be an expert in it’s use, and appears to be… a little too proud of it for my taste. Thus, when the conversation turned to the vibrator of choice, the conversation descended into unarousing form. It became part sales pitch (“They’re available at the desk here, far cheaper than you can buy anywhere else!”), part audio instruction book (“If you do this first, and this second, Dee will become much more sensitive to step three, which is…”). It was part pseudo-bullshit infomercial (“Yes, Dee, too, can get off in less than 30 seconds! You’ll never need to waste time with foreplay again!”), and part pressure sell (“In fact, most people have TWO!”). It was even slightly insulting – at one point it was suggested to me that repeated use of this in the proper way would cause Dee to be much more sensitive all the time, and that without that, I couldn’t possibly satisfy her the way a woman should be satisfied… but “With it… Jane thinks I’m a total stud! How can any man NOT want that?”
All this was followed by an offer – come upstairs and see a physical demonstration!
And so it was, I lost most of my good cheer. Still, when Dee volunteered to be the recipient of that demonstration (to my great surprise), I pressed on, hoping my earlier feelings and mood would return.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
My Birthday
Yesterday was my birthday, and the present I requested is below… I asked Dee to post these two particular pictures online. The pictures are explicit, and everything about them reflects bold steps forward for us… both taking them (we’ve never experimented with a camera until very recently), and sharing them here (which we’ve never done… EVER).
We both found it was a lot of fun to take them, too!
Saturday evening we’ll be taking another bold step, as Dee is taking me to a swingers club as guests of a friend. To quote her own email to me: “I am kind of hoping that Saturday will be the ultimate birthday present. So stay tuned.”
I will stay tuned, but must admit I have some trepidation, which I’ve shared with her. Our history regarding activities involving the two of us together where dancing, drinking, groups of people (especially those we don't know) and/or late nights have been a factor has not been particularly good. However, this history was created long ago, and I know things have changed dramatically since then.
Again, to quote Dee herself: “We'll just see what happens. Worse case is that we go, eat a decent dinner, have a couple of drinks and have a fun time together. I'm hoping it is at least as much fun as we had going to the strip club in Vegas.”
For myself, I’m thinking something along those same lines. We’ll go, check the place out, go through the orientation, and meet some people, but take things slow. I don’t anticipate participating in anything on our first visit, but I’m thinking fun thoughts all the same: we go, we have a good time, and then come home to an empty house (the kid is spending the night with friends), leaving us free to make all the noise we want… in particular I’m thinking of the loud smacking sound of a good hard spanking. Maybe we’ll break out the infrequently used toys (like the handcuffs). Maybe I’ll just strip her naked as soon as we come through the door, and fuck her like crazy, jumping from place to place and position to position without ever going upstairs. Or maybe we’ll just stay up all night and do all of the above, and wrap up the event with a shower together as the sun rises.
But like Dee, I’m trying to approach the evening with an open mind, and see where it leads.
We both found it was a lot of fun to take them, too!
Saturday evening we’ll be taking another bold step, as Dee is taking me to a swingers club as guests of a friend. To quote her own email to me: “I am kind of hoping that Saturday will be the ultimate birthday present. So stay tuned.”
I will stay tuned, but must admit I have some trepidation, which I’ve shared with her. Our history regarding activities involving the two of us together where dancing, drinking, groups of people (especially those we don't know) and/or late nights have been a factor has not been particularly good. However, this history was created long ago, and I know things have changed dramatically since then.
Again, to quote Dee herself: “We'll just see what happens. Worse case is that we go, eat a decent dinner, have a couple of drinks and have a fun time together. I'm hoping it is at least as much fun as we had going to the strip club in Vegas.”
For myself, I’m thinking something along those same lines. We’ll go, check the place out, go through the orientation, and meet some people, but take things slow. I don’t anticipate participating in anything on our first visit, but I’m thinking fun thoughts all the same: we go, we have a good time, and then come home to an empty house (the kid is spending the night with friends), leaving us free to make all the noise we want… in particular I’m thinking of the loud smacking sound of a good hard spanking. Maybe we’ll break out the infrequently used toys (like the handcuffs). Maybe I’ll just strip her naked as soon as we come through the door, and fuck her like crazy, jumping from place to place and position to position without ever going upstairs. Or maybe we’ll just stay up all night and do all of the above, and wrap up the event with a shower together as the sun rises.
But like Dee, I’m trying to approach the evening with an open mind, and see where it leads.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Quick Post
Yes, Dee really does follow that whole list of blogs.
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This is why I said I think she's a little bit addicted. :)
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This is why I said I think she's a little bit addicted. :)
Monday, November 3, 2008
A Thought About this Weekend
Only a few posts ago, I determined that I preferred vaginal sex over the other available options, and that is, indeed, the case – at least in the conjectural sense (I knew even as I wrote that this discourse was based entirely on the theoretical). Of course, this past weekend, as is frequently the case, the academic became applied theory (on more than one occasion), and in life, the application of the theory isn’t quite so simple.
There’s a big difference between an abstract consideration of personal preferences (“I say, after considering all the pros and cons of the matter, I must find I prefer vaginal intercourse over oral stimulation”), and making an on-the spot decision in the midst of a moment.
For me, the decision is difficult enough in the hypothetical: In the heat of the moment, how, exactly, would I want it to end? (More often than not, Dee actually poses the question to me… putting me on the spot!). This same question becomes both more urgent, and more confounding, when I find myself watching as Dee settles between my legs, naked and smiling, and takes me into her mouth (to give a specific moment this weekend when the question struck me as relevant).
As always seems to happen, I wind up torn in twelve different directions at once (or twenty… or fifty!): I feel the urge to get up off the bed, pull Dee into position, stand between her spread legs, and fuck her hard. I want to roll her over, shove her down on her back, and jerk off all over her. I consider opening the bedside drawers and taking out the toys, or the handcuffs, and putting them to use. I think about grabbing her by the hair and taking control, and filling her mouth with my come. I imagine what a turn on it would be to bend her over and slowly ease into her backdoor. I want to pull her down on top of me and run my tongue through her pussy.
I want to do all these things at once, and a thousand others, too, but I’m just not that talented.
Admittedly, this is a very nice problem to have, but it’s a conundrum that continues to challenge me.
There’s a big difference between an abstract consideration of personal preferences (“I say, after considering all the pros and cons of the matter, I must find I prefer vaginal intercourse over oral stimulation”), and making an on-the spot decision in the midst of a moment.
For me, the decision is difficult enough in the hypothetical: In the heat of the moment, how, exactly, would I want it to end? (More often than not, Dee actually poses the question to me… putting me on the spot!). This same question becomes both more urgent, and more confounding, when I find myself watching as Dee settles between my legs, naked and smiling, and takes me into her mouth (to give a specific moment this weekend when the question struck me as relevant).
As always seems to happen, I wind up torn in twelve different directions at once (or twenty… or fifty!): I feel the urge to get up off the bed, pull Dee into position, stand between her spread legs, and fuck her hard. I want to roll her over, shove her down on her back, and jerk off all over her. I consider opening the bedside drawers and taking out the toys, or the handcuffs, and putting them to use. I think about grabbing her by the hair and taking control, and filling her mouth with my come. I imagine what a turn on it would be to bend her over and slowly ease into her backdoor. I want to pull her down on top of me and run my tongue through her pussy.
I want to do all these things at once, and a thousand others, too, but I’m just not that talented.
Admittedly, this is a very nice problem to have, but it’s a conundrum that continues to challenge me.
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